Sorry for the long post, i have spent a lot of time overthinking this situation. I have posted this in another group, but someone suggested i post this here!

Anyway, as the title suggests, i don't know what i am doing wrong. I have been single for 3 and a half years. My last relationship was very toxic and totally changed me as a person. Not getting into it as thats a whole post in itself, however i was left feeling like an soulless vessel and i was lost. I understand the first year or two of being single was trying to figure myself out again, but nowadays i just feel like guys only see me as sex. They commit to a few dates and then as soon as they get what they want, i get ghosted. This may come down to my choice of men, however there is a certain type of man who would match my personality type. I don't want to wear the pants, but i also don't want to be able to run all over my SO.. i need a challenge and someone who will challenge me, not someone who will fall at my feet and give me everything i want for nothing.

I am not what society classes as 'unnattractive', if i were rate myself honestly i would say i was 7/7.5 out of 10, I am intelligent and down to earth, i have a dry and sarcastic sense of humour however know when it is appropriate, i am low maintenance - dont wear much makeup, dont dye my hair or get fake nails/fake tan, i have blue eyes, brown hair, glasses and fair skin with an hourglass figure and i am chill in the sense of if someone does something i don't agree with i am rational and will always try and see things from their point of view which determines my reaction.

I don't want this post to be an 'awh give me sympathy' post and i am fully aware i should be lucky enough to even be asked out on dates, however its just frustrating feeling like i am doing everything right and getting shut down.

I gain alot of attention specifically from men in relationships which i HATE. I have never entertained the conversation and always shut it down as soon as i find out. I did call on guy out on it however because i was curious. I asked him why he is wanting me when his girlfriend was a solid 10 and he responded with 'because i know you would be able to satisfy me better sexually than she does' but i have NEVER been suggestive towards him so i got really upset about that. I feel like people misinterpret my confidence for flirtiness or see my confidence as a 'daydream' for what i would be like in bed.

I am just confused and wondering if anyone has any suggestions as to what i should be doing differently? Thanks in advance for any advice or constructive criticism!