Shame after devaluing yourself (vent)

Ms_Tilly · 2019-11-10T15:55:34+00:00

You're learning. That's all that matters. I've always tried to turn bad experiences into lessons instead of shaming myself. I stayed with the last turd out of personal convenience and just stayed mentally strong. It still fucked me up a little, but there's no sense beating myself up over it. I could see myself in your post. Knowing better, but giving chances anyway. We definitely have to stop doing that and need to actually listen to that little voice in our head that says "this is wrong and there is no excuse for it". We have to stop accepting those little crumbs of love and positivity as meaning they care and that they are worth trying for. They aren't.

I love this sub because women post their truth at the expense of feeling ashamed because they want other women here to know they aren't alone. But we don't need to feel ashamed. We have all been there in one way or another. We get it. And we're glad you (and others) came to remind us to stop being like that.

No one will value us if we don't value ourselves. Even a codependent that comes in as a white knight to save you from yourself is only doing it to make themselves feel loved and wanted.

dissonantlotus · 2019-11-10T12:24:36+00:00

Good thing you got out! You experienced the red flags first hand and it will take you no time to recognize them again.

2019-11-11T04:20:26+00:00

I feel the same way after a 1.5 month situationship with a man who turned out to be a lying, womanizing creep. I ignored every flag against my better judgement. He begged for a relationship from day 1. I guess he just wanted to lock me up quickly and I didn’t want one because he was trash. In the end we fought and his mask fell off, he ended things in a super rude and obnoxious way and later got pissed because I didn’t beg. What did the psychopathic man child did to get my attention again? He sexually harassed me in the bathroom, peeking over the door while I was about to pee and saying “hey”. I got scared and blocked him everywhere. He still went to the bar I work with last night. These men ain’t shit sis. hugs

Title	Shame after devaluing yourself (vent)
Author	jajajajaj000
Upvotes	19
Comments	3
Date	November 10, 2019 11:23 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/duaayj/shame_after_devaluing_yourself_vent/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/shame-after-devaluing-yourself-vent.688610 https://theredarchive.com/post/688610

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