I'll keep this short. I dated a girl for about 6-7 months and fell in love with her. First girl who I thought of having a LTR with. Unfortunately, i acted blue pill/beta, she lost attraction and branched. I was heart broken. I begged for her back, wrote her letters, stalked her, messaged her, did this for months and months.

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After the break up , i slept and plated a few girls but still felt sad. I lost 3 jobs in a row , i couldn't function. I blew all my money (drugs, gambling hookers) . I was so depressed even after 10 months to the point i just wanted to stay home all day, nothing seemed to work (going gym, new hobbies etc).

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Anyway it's now been 1 year since the break up, i feel like finally i'm back to normal. My memories of her have really faded. I still remember her voice though but other things seem so distant. However, i did look at her social media a few weeks ago and it brought back a tonne of memories and i saw her on dates with other guys and felt horrible (Big mistake - won't do this again).

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But the problem is now i feel damaged. I don't know what it is but i feel blunt. I feel numb. Is it depression? ageing? I don't even feel interested in women anymore. I don't feel motivated at work. I feel like a shell of myself. Before meeting her i was ambitious, happy, a go getter now i feel like a nothing. Has anyone experienced this? does anyone know what's wrong with me? is it shot self esteem? depression? Lack of goals? I just feel so empty inside. Also, i think about her sometimes (Still) and think about what could of been. I'm not the best looking guy and i'd prefer a solid gf than spinning plates. but right now i have nothing or i have a few ugly/fat girls off tinder. Maybe this is why 'm sad lack of femaleS? i got no idea. I just feel broken inside. I exercise, i started a new job, i talk to people, i go gym, i learn each day, but still i feel broken/numb.