I recently quit alcohol (6months) and weed (2weeks) after realising I've become totally reliant on both. But without weed my sleep has been very hit and miss.

On Thursday night I had zero hours sleep but dragged myself into the office caffeine pumping through my veins. I could gradually feel myself feeling more and more miserable and angry as the day went by.

In a meeting at 4pm I naively decided to take my anger out on someone else. I dislike this person, he's tried shaming tactics with me on numerous occasions before and he's a complete AFC/white knight/feminist/beta, 30 years older than me and somehow on the same pay grade as me, I cannot respect him. However, he is intelligent, admittedly far more "put together" than me right now and had no problem retorting to me in the most patronising of ways. He called me "dear boy" and I went "okay old man". Then the whole meeting turned on me and hurled insult after insult. I completely froze and was just seething with anger, went bright red. It was completely fucking tragic, felt worse than any rejection I've ever had in my entire life. I kept my mouth slammed shut for the rest of the day and came home, still angry.

Now, I do hate this job generally, it is a fairly toxic and dead-end environment. I have a plan to leave fairly soon and pursue something far more meaningful. But I don't have my next job lined up yet, I'm a few months away from that. What shall I do on Monday? I was completely in the wrong initially, there was no reason for me to take a dig at him, but would apologising to the group via email just make things even worse? They all know (because I told one person who told everyone) that I'm getting sober, should I pretend like nothing ever happened on Monday so as not to appear even weaker?

Without sleep I'm damn useless. Any input would be appreciated to get me through the next couple of months at this job without me getting verbally attacked by these fucks on a daily basis.