[LTR] How to resist the attempts of my GF to become a beta?

[deleted] · 2018-12-12T19:13:03+00:00

You have two options in everything you do:

Take the action that furthers your goals.
Take the action that tries to make people like you.

You can only pick one.

mleko69 · 2018-12-12T19:33:32+00:00

I see that I fucked up and do a few 'offensive' things (give her orders, reject her sexually, go distant, focus more on my goals), etc. She throws tantrums and I hold my frame.
My GF becomes super nice, super sweet, super sexual. I enjoy it and become weaker as I don't want to 'spoil' those nice moments.

You've basically answered yourself in the OP.
IMHO the art of LTR is in finding an equilibrium between alpha and beta traits, i.e. being a strong, leading guy who doesn't take shit from others, but also being a type of guy, who can find a time to cuddle or help the significant one.
Notice that you get all those "nice moments" when you're "offending" her, just like she's doing her best when she sees that you're doing what she expects to be your best.
Dunno, I would try to balance between what you like and she likes.

AllainMC · 2018-12-13T00:39:35+00:00

If I had to bet, I would say you don’t have as much “frame” as you think you do.

You’re trying to rationalize every interaction with her as some sort of power game that must be won, and given her reaction, it is. This is what your relationship with her is founded on.

It isn’t founded on the real frame that you really hold and her attraction to you. The relationship only survives as long as you can consciously keep up the “RP” act, and brother, that shit will eat your soul...if you want to live that way, then stop with LTRs and go apply that game to ONS and short-term relationships.

Now I don’t believe in soulmates or unconditional love by any means, but it may be time to leave and go find you a girl that doesn’t require you to play mental chess. They exist. All you have to do is quit trying to be tactical about it, and just be your best self. This sounds anti-RP, but I’m not denying the effectiveness of the “Alpha” tactics, I’m just saying they only work in the short-term.

Think about it, you have constructed a fantasy for this girl by behaving the way TRP says you should, but TRP is not your REAL personality. Well, eventually, the real you will start to shine through, and gradually destroy the fantasy you built for her. Why would she maintain her attraction, if you aren’t really the man you attracted her to?

spider_1337 · 2018-12-13T14:59:22+00:00

Slap her silly with your willy.

Carbone · 2018-12-12T19:20:34+00:00

Start offending her.

The one with power in a relationship is the one that need the other the less.

Title	[LTR] How to resist the attempts of my GF to become a beta?
Author	AllainMC
Upvotes	8
Comments	8
Date	December 12, 2018 6:46 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/a5l008/ltr_how_to_resist_the_attempts_of_my_gf_to_become/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ltr-how-to-resist-the-attempts-of-my-gf-to-become.70472 https://theredarchive.com/post/70472

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