Hi people

I'm 26 years old. Almost a year ago I met the Red Pill.

There is this one problem that is killing all my game or progress with the girls: communication. Usually girls approach me, I can even see the desire in their eyes: single ones, those with a boyfriend, HBs 8. I make them feel attracted to me without knowing how or without intent, they may even want to do something with me, but when we start talking or go on a date, the decline begins.

I see two reasons for this (and I realized this after meeting the red pill). The first reason is that I talk to girls the same way I talk to my friends. I realized that there is no flirting, no tension or anything sexual. We start with any random topic and I can't get out of this. I stagnate, I don't know how to lead and conduct the talk. When I try to escalate, I think I escalate too much or all of a sudden and verbally the girl pulls me back/stop my advances.

The second reason, which has to do with the first, is that I am a philosopher. Stoicism, Seneca, Nietzsche, you know. So even when I don't want to and before I realized it, I always make some profound comment or lead the talk to a profound and serious path, what is unattractive, I suppose. I also can't deal with small talk, I don't find it interesting, and I don't have any. (To summarize the two points, in the conversation I’m just “being myself”).

I am simply speaking the things I realized, I’m not saying that “this is who I’m” and that I won’t change. I want to learn and I am willing to make the necessary adjustments. Basically that is it. How do I communicate with a woman? There is a "right" way to do it, right? I can't create anything sexual, we stagnate in a cycle of friendly conversations and the date ends without a kiss, without anything happening. I no longer want this outcome and pattern, so I ask for your opinion and help.

Just a few more points below:

If a girl seems so interested, why does she deny all of my escalations? If we are on a date and she denies my advances, what I do? Do I give up and remain without expectations until the date is over? I don't know which is better: to continue without expectations or speak openly/overtly that I want to kiss her and that I’m interested in her. For me it is better a rejection over end a date without trying enough and with the doubt of what was her intent with me.

How do I stop being or at least stop showing that I am boyfriend material? Is this something we can kill just like our “Beta” side? When I wonder why I act or speak like Boyfriend Material, the only answer that comes is "because I don’t know any better". Because I only know to be this way - I was raised by my mother and three older sisters. I know the conditioning was strong.

If a first date ends without a kiss is already a lost battle? Have I screwed up? (If a girl agrees to go out with you, it is because she is interested in you and wants or expects something to happen, right?). If a girl likes / is interested in me, do I still have chances and can I repair this damage (if small)? Depending on her level of attraction to me, she can ignore unattractive things, right?

Do you think all the girls would kiss on the first date if they were attracted enough for the guy and that this “I don't kiss on the first date” thing is bullshit? Even if the girl is really shy, a virgin or an HB6?

The topic I’m talking with the girl is important? I go out with more introverted and nerdy girls. The last one I went out with (this week) was very interested in me. She encouraged me and gave me hints that she wanted to go out with me. I invited and she readily accepted. It was even against her mother who didn't want her to go out in this pandemic, but she convinced her mother to let her go (what I saw as she breaking a rule or making an effort to see me, and therefore interested in me or seeing me as an alpha). We have all things in common: philosophy, languages, books ... But even with this girl I could fail and couldn't get a kiss. It was the worst for me. I don't want to feel like I'm a failure anymore. I was sure she was interested in me and that something would happen, but I realized that even though she was interested in me, the wrong behavior can kill anything (at least I think she has lost her attraction to me or was disappointed and I am with shame to call ask her out again). I ask about the topics because even being about philosophy or books, I know that she was enjoying. It’s ok to talk about these things if I can escalate or create attraction, right?

It is important to notice too that in our date we had to use masks almost all the time and it was very uncomfortable. Maybe this helped the bad outcome.

If you could’t kiss a girl on the first date would you invite her to a second? By now I think it is a bad idea due to how things are. My friends (all bluepill) say to stay in touch with her via texting and cellphone. I don’t know if giving all this attention is a good idea. Any thoughts, please?

As you can see I’m still lost/insecure in some things, but I’m committed to get better and better, so I ask your opinion and advices in these things.

These are the points that I wanted to talk about and I feel that are in my way. Thank you very much.