I recently got out of an LDR. I decided to try Tinder again and wanted to be "open minded", meet some men etc. Every now and then I give casual sex a try and tonight I went on a second date with a guy I had a good, innocent first date with. He came to my place and I thought to myself "whatever, may as well..", and a few hours later here I am, realising that EVERY single time it turns out to be nothing but extremely disappointing. I don't consider myself ugly and I get enough attention from men; howerer, MOST of the men I've had sex with have had some level of difficulty getting or staying hard, and they've never genuinely cared too much about my pleasure. They always talk a lot about sex and brag about how they like pleasing women, but when it comes to actually doing it.. meh.

Every time I give it a go, it's just boring and I end up feeling used or unattractive. Why bother anymore? I know I'm not asexual, but all these bad experiences are slowly going to turn me off to sex completely. Masturbation is more fun. I know there are unicorns out there, but right now I just feel like it's not worth it to even try and in the process lose myself. Casual sex and all that, it seriously sucks. I want romance, I want to feel truly wanted and appreciated. I want to feel the kind of passion and true desire that I felt when I was a teenager and in love with my first bf.