The right way to handle doubt in a marriage?

[deleted] · 2017-07-15T17:26:36+00:00

Let him take the lead. If things fall through the cracks, find a way to communicate and do not assume him in incapable. He may have a plan or order of things. Prioritization. If you work and are happy to pay things like the auto and phone bills, discuss doing so. He will appreciate less on his mind. Set up a financial calendar an budget together so there is open dialogue. Know what your free spending is and discuss purchases over an agreed dollar amount. Also, agree that new lines of credit will be discussed before opened, as it is mutual responsibility and the payments affect your overall bottom line.

Assuming responsibilities outside of traditional roles is a double edged sword. That can open up paths to self destruction. The overall takeaway is communication before things come to a head and a set of "best practices" you agree and adheer to. You both also need freedom of at will spending which is up to you to save or spend. This is best done in cash.

teaandtalk · 2017-07-15T17:45:27+00:00

This has made it difficult for me to maintain the easygoing "hands off" approach I had before we got married and started moving, planning for a baby, etc.

My advice for how to handle your anxiety is to take smaller bites. As a newlywed myself, I'm seeing how much growing we have to do as a couple, before we get to a place where we can buy a house and have a baby. Those are exciting things, yes, but we're still learning how to be in each other's space at all times, how to communicate our finances and financial goals to one another, how to give and take with our free time. We're not ready for the stress of buying a house yet and we're certainly not ready for a baby, regardless of whether or not I've been browsing Zillow and feeling baby fever.

Sharing a life with someone is big. Developing the kind of trust you need for a strong union is big. Work on those for a bit before planning for major future decisions, because those are huge.

Cardiscappa · 2017-07-15T18:35:53+00:00

I have not (so far) seen any advice about how the dynamic can flourish when the wife is the more financially conservative and minimalistic partner, so I am looking for advice on how to handle it.

This is my biggest worry. I have a modest income, live within my means and have zero debt. He's a bit more spendy and being a man, willing to take more risk. It frightens me beyond belief to allow someone to decide my financial future, go into debt or worse lose property.

Title	The right way to handle doubt in a marriage?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	4
Date	July 15, 2017 3:55 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/6ngmxp/the_right_way_to_handle_doubt_in_a_marriage/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/the-right-way-to-handle-doubt-in-a-marriage.73117 https://theredarchive.com/post/73117

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