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I (27M) married my ex wife (26F) right after high school.

She got pregnant right away and had our son (7).

We had a great couple of years. But in January 2019 I lost my job.

We were already having kind of a rut in our marriage. My wife cried when she heard and pretty much spent the next few days in the guest bedroom. When she came out she said she supports me and I’ll get a job soon.

I really tried to get another job. But when I still turned up empty in March I just focused on the part time job I had at a clothing store. Meanwhile she went on like business as usual. She spent as if I was still employed and started screaming matches when I told her we needed to budget.

My wife worked as a nanny part time. She started spending more and more time at work. She got the money to account for it but didn’t really have a good explanation as to why the hours were that erratic.

We had arguments about why the gifts she got as a thank you for staying late were so extravagant. She started talking about how attached she was to her employer’s twin boys.

In June the shop I worked at closed. My wife would barely speak to me unless it was to argue about money. I tried to step up- I made her her favorite meals, planned fun family activities, and took her out on date night. I even got her inexpensive presents despite our money situation.

I get another job at a grocery store but our debts are threatening to swallow us up. Finally in October she tells me that she’s been sleeping with her boss (46), is in love with him, and that she’s more attached to his twins than our son. She says she won’t fight me in the divorce and then leaves.

She immediately moved in with her boss( who was a widower) and filed for divorce. She didn’t fight me over custody though she was pretty vindictive about finances.

Our divorce was finalized in under a year. I have full custody and she has visitation.

I’m still hurting but I’m more concerned about my son. She has kept up sporadic contact with him and I know he has not forgotten the day I broke down because his mom said she was leaving.

My son has become a very sullen and angry boy. He’s said many times straight up that he doesn’t like me anymore.

My ex wife sometimes brings our son expensive presents and when she shows him attention my son immediately gets his hopes up that she’ll come back and we’ll be a family again.

My son and I are still struggling, especially because of corona. Divorce was still costly and my credit is in shreds. Money is still a huge problem and I also feel guilty because I found it impossible to shield my son from my ex and I’s money problems.

My son understands that his mom’s new partner is well off and asks if what we had was not enough for his mom. Sometimes he asks if what we had couldn’t support his mom if it already supported the two of us.

My ex wife recently told my son that she was getting married in February. Because coronavirus is going back up she and her fiancé are going to isolate in his home in Nantucket and get married there.

This has sent my son into another spiral of heartbreak especially because my ex said that only the people necessary for the ceremony were going to be there.

When I told my son I loved him during Thanksgiving yesterday he said he didn’t care about love. And what was the point if it couldn’t keep his mom here.

What do I do? I can’t help but feel my own grief and sense of anger is bleeding onto my son’s. I think my son can also sense my feeling of inadequacy. And how do I get over my sense of failure so I can help my son love and respect me again?