This luckely doesnt mean that I have lost my previous friendships. But its something Ive notieced in recent times. During highschool I had two very close female friends. Where we would text each day, complain about life, congradulate our achivements. You know, good friends.

Now, I was madly in love worh one of them. Ironically she liked me too in the beginning, but because I was afraid to show interest she ended up losing interest (and thus the redpill started to inflict me). The other one I had a even closer friendship with, but there wasnt any romance. I just liked her as a friend and wanted to sleep with her as well. Cause she was cool...and hot.

Now, sexual aspects aside, the thing about these two girls was that everyone around me thought we were together. Some of my closest male friends are still suprised when I remind them we werent together.

Now, while the red pill made me really mess up with the first one (and thus, no more manipulation) and self development eventually lead to me and nr. 2 hooking up as friends, I have not had such relationships with a woman since.

Its lowkey freaking me out. If I go even further back there are also other girls that I had great relationships with. (Ofcourse, in 90% of the time I had seacret crushes on them. The sexual part didnt start till highschool) But I have not had a female relationship like that since. Ironically, I did not have such a relationship with my ex. Its not that I havent tried, its almost as if Ive lost the ability to gain these relationships. These close friendships.

What can I do to get this back?