Me [27F] with my boyfriend [27M] 6 mos, LDR, he's very busy, and i'm unsure how to proceed

jotho817 · 2017-09-24T04:23:12+00:00

My husband is in a medical residency too, with the crazy 100+ hour work weeks so I sympathize with you completely, especially since we're long distance too. I wish I could tell you that it was going to let up but you have to be the strong one sometimes and be secure in the relationship when he can't reassure you. It's great that he's committed so much to this relationship that he spent hours on the phone with you despite his work schedule but I think if you want to keep this going, you have to be the escape from stress, not the cause of it. When you question his commitment and ask for more time from him, you start becoming another thing in his long list of chores. And that's honestly the death of an LDR. To keep it going, you need to be the one he looks forward to, who helps him relieve his stress and not add to it. That means being secure and accepting of his busy schedule. Make him WANT to talk to you, don't demand it. My husband calls me every night even though he's exhausted because I make his day better when it's been sucky at work; make him laugh, make him tell you the hard things, be his shoulder to cry on and his cheerleader when work is terrible. When he doesn't text for a while, don't nag him or make him feel guilty; but when he comes back and texts you, make him realize what he was missing so he texts you back again. You don't want him to text you messages of love and affection out of guilt, make him want to send them again.

Oops, I forgot to address the old boyfriend. So here's the thing; you broke up with him for a reason. And now you're comparing your new boyfriend to him because you feel neglected. But you have to decide what's more important to you, making your current relationship work or comparing the two of them. Because comparing boyfriends is pretty unfair to both of them, and you chose this new guy because you were attracted to him. So, put the effort in to make this new relationship work and let go of the guy you dumped. Or, if you can't handle the busy schedule of your new boyfriend, let him go too.

mrpthrowa · 2017-09-26T12:01:15+00:00

Frankly, you sound so demanding and entitled emotionally.

Title	Me [27F] with my boyfriend [27M] 6 mos, LDR, he's very busy, and i'm unsure how to proceed
Author	tuolomnefallss
Upvotes	3
Comments	4
Date	September 21, 2017 8:04 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/71ltg9/me_27f_with_my_boyfriend_27m_6_mos_ldr_hes_very/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/me-27f-with-my-boyfriend-27m-6-mos-ldr-hes-very.73466 https://theredarchive.com/post/73466

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