1. Redpill is an ideology, and thus untrue.

Such is the case with any other ideology. What really happened, is you took on an ideology, a fixed view of certain facets of reality. You can break from an ideology, but who's to say you won't fall into another? Be still. Watch yourself.

2. Self-manipulation is not the way.

If taken as a means to improve your ways with women, that can be a noble pursuit... but know this: Self-manipulation is not the way. By 'self-manipulation', I mean scheming together an elaborate web of how you're supposed to look, be, act, speak, and touch regarding women... but the self-manipulation starts way sooner before that! It begins the moment we ask ourselves the question, "how can I get that girl?" Once you're set on impressing a woman, you're merely adding another link to the chain of being inauthentic. Read between the lines. This goes beyond dating.

3. Achieve balance in masculinity and femininity.

It's no secret that many cultures foster the masculine in men and the feminine in women, while neglecting or even shunning their counterparts. This is a grave mistake. To be masculine without embracing the feminine, or vice versa, is to be without a leg and an arm; to have half a brain. At the gates, a child in this state has been instilled with the neurosis of their parent.

This can impact our ability to understand women (and for women, men), and to have healthy, enjoyable communication with them. This matter alone, when resolved, can bring you so much success in finding a good partner, that depending on where you are with yourself, it might be all you need to make even better footing in your endeavors.

Developing your femininity means increasing your intuition, or your ability to fully feel and pick up on things that are implicated to you -- things that are beyond logic, reason and explanation -- like your own feelings. To be able to acknowledge your emotions unashamed, to bare yourself and be vulnerable and be okay with that and mean it, will expand you beyond seeing your own feelings to where you can sense more clearly the feelings of others, which would, in turn, allow you to be authentic with a woman.

No need to 'read signals' if you can already feel them by 'being yourself'. See that? Read between the lines. Are you really being yourself? The depths which we can go with that question is beyond our comprehension.

4. Realize who you've always been, and fall in love with that.

However abstract, and quite paradoxical, this adult you feel you are now is not you, until you include the child you once were as being present, beside, and within you. Not your past, not something that was, but something special that came and never stopped being.

That 5-year-old you? He/she's you!... Yet, a completely different person at the same time. They never went anywhere. When we say, 'the past is the past', what are we really saying to that part of ourselves that's always there? If you can find it in you, notice and realize that part of yourself. If you can do this, you will know the love of being a father or mother without needing to bear a child to know it. At the same time, you will be that child, embraced for once in so long.

To illustrate what I'm getting at, here's a video demonstrating the Still Face experiment, showing how children respond to attention and lack thereof: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apzXGEbZht0

Now imagine in every human being, there is this child inside us, and we're doing this to that child, except we're doing it for a lifetime and not realizing it!

Any tough times in your childhood? I had suffered some humiliating moments in my childhood that were seminal in my development as a person, and once I took this 4th piece I shared with you literally, I could resolve those events inside myself. It was as if I had keys to a time machine, could go back to that time, sit down with my past self and talk about it with him as a parent would for their child, anytime I want.

That's all I have.

There's a common thread laced through this entire post: Acknowledge yourself without judgment. Be still, and watch. Look after yourself with compassion. Embrace yourself. Do not impose the need on yourself to change yourself. Truly listen. If you live in shame, stop, witness it. Simply see yourself.

Counter-intuitively, healthy change will come. Shame, in time, will fall off. Movement will come from stillness. In embracing yourself, you will inspire others to want to embrace you. By letting go of who you're struggling to be, you will open yourself to who you truly are.