In high school, I was popular, got girls, was confident, and had a general idea of who I was going to become as I grew older. I was focused and determined to be successful . I graduated, still confident and focused. My life was awesome... I was a good student, a good friend, and a good person in general. I was proud of who I was, and it reflected in my attitude towards life.

This all ended when I had a panic attack this summer. I couldn't even tell you what triggered it, it was completely random. That being said it was the most amount of stress I had ever experienced and it caused me some serious mental problems. I was scared and stressed, so with each passing day my confidence and self esteem would become smaller and smaller.

Today, I am severely depressed and have no focus on life anymore. This whole experience has made me question my existence to the point where I just feel so worthless. I am unmotivated, I am fatigued, I can't fuck girls like I used to--I simply can't live like I used to. I'm doing terribly at a school I don't even want to attend. All I do is play guitar in my room alone, lift, and waste time. I got in a fight just for the rush because I no longer feel excitement and everything is mundane. I climb buildings for the rush too. Almost fell and died yesterday. So stupid. My friends are no longer my friends because they have turned into drug addicts. My school is a terrible institution and the culture is shit. Fuck. I severely want to fix this mental state. I don't know what to do and I need any help you guys can give.

Thank you