I'm a naturally good looking guy, so i get approached by women every now and then, but my problem is I have always been sort of a "loner". (NO. I am not in denial about it, i am not a pussy that's just afraid of women.) I have had countless women come onto me but I want nothing to do with them most of the time, there's been 2 girls that I have actually LIKED. as in WANTED TO BE WITH. However, They are both taken now and I am am not sad about it. I move on as this is obviously the smartest choice.
This year I started my first year of college, and it is fucking nerve -wracking for me. I have been approached by 3 different women in the last 3 months, one I made out with, not because i truly wanted to,(i sorta did, mainly out of curiosity as ive never done it.) The other one messaged me on my student email (no idea how she found out who i was, never seen her in my life) saying that she liked me etc. I flirted with her for a just a second through the emails then just dropped her. Straight up ignored her, part of that because she was ugly and the other because... I am not really interested in being in relationships, and also because she has 2 kids at 21. I felt like a dick for this, and i also have a class with her in 30 minutes... Im kinda nervous about that. The last I talked to while i was studying in the study hall, She is sorta cute, but she is also kinda awkward and weird. Not in a terrible way, but, you know.
She came up to talk to me the first time introduced herself and we just talked for a little bit, i knew she was into me but I wasnt interested in going further with her. Second time she came up and talked to me and we had sorta a good talk, mainly because I was on opiates and I get really talkative on those. Today I was heading to the restroom in a hurry and she saw me, smile, and handed me a paper with her number on it and left. I was flattered, but stuff like this makes my brain go haywire, i dont know if it's just the way I am or results from things that happened when I was younger.
Anyway, I dont know what the fuck I want to do guys and I'd be greatful for help. I'm a virgin, At the moment the most i'm interested in with this girl is to fuck her. And now, I'm not a virgin because of being "scared", I know I will be nervous when it happens as everyone is doing it for the first time. I have just never been really that interested. It's not my priorities, my priorities is to do well in school, and enjoy my hobbies while hanging out with my bros.
I'm flattered by her as she likes me, but I just dont know what to do guys, sorry if i'm been rambling as my mind isnt in the right place right now (taking kratom and phenibut for my anxiety makes me very chatty). I dont know if i should just tell her i'm not interested(i wouldnt like to do this, I would honestly feel like an asshole for telling her this), to go through with it and see where it goes(i'm nervous of this, I dont like the idea of "toying" with someone, as in this case I will just be getting with her to have sex, and to dump her soon after), or to tell her i'm not interested in a relationship but will fuck her if she wants( afraid this will make things awkward).
So if i end up doing things with her, I'm nervous on how I will text her, i know it sounds weird. Ive never texted someone for more than 10 minutes, especially one that i am in some sort of relationship with. What if things get sexual during texting? That idea is so fucking awkward to me. What if she starts sending me pictures of herself? do i just say "cool" (not really)or some awkward shit lol. If i end up doing something with her do i do a first date thing? what would we do? bring her to a party, bring her to a haunted house, or movies? I know i sound like a mess guys but i'm just trying to be genuine as possible. Thanks for your help. P.S. -I apologize my formatting is terrible.
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