And to think, I thought he'd actually respect my boundaries when I told him not to contact me again.

219 points•29 comments•submitted by QQueenieFDS Newbie to r/FemaleDatingStrategy

Alright ladies. My last serious heartbreak happened this summer when my ex dumped me unceremoniously on my front stoop. The weeks after the breakup, he texted and emailed me casually every few days until finally I emailed him he needed to stop contacting me and leave me alone to heal. He said he understood.

And let me tell you: immediately after getting that email, I went for a walk around my block and cried, because I believed that would be the last time I would hear from him.

Why did I think this? During our relationship, he was all about BOUNDARIES -- which, yes, are very important to respect. But "boundaries" to him meant that I could not ask questions about the aspects of our relationship that made me uncomfortable or didn't work for me, because BOUNDARIES. This man made me feel like a monster for trying to understand his perspective on some of our conflicts.

And because I knew he understood boundaries, I knew he would respect mine when I asked him to leave me be. Especially when I was so clear. Right?

Just over a month after my email, I got the "thinking about you, feel free to ignore this" email. I ignored him. A month to the day after that, I got the "can we talk?" email. I responded and said we could meet if it was important, but otherwise he needed to respect the boundary I set in my last email and leave me alone. He responded, apologizing, admitting he had nothing important to say, agreeing that my boundary was clear, and he did not respect it. Then I blocked his email. Last week, this post inspired me to finally block his number.

Tonight, he found me on Hinge, "liked" me, and sent me a lame message.

I am laughing that I ever thought this dude actually understood and respected boundaries. Actually, the only boundaries he ever cared about were his own.

tl;dr: Beware the holiday hoover!