Casual sex doesn't interest me. To be quite honest, I find it repulsive. Meeting up and fucking someone you've just met at a nightclub seems incredibly primal to me.

I'd really like a mature relationship with someone my own age. (I'm 20) Someone to cuddle with after a long day of bettering myself. That's all I want.

I'd happily die only ever sleeping with one more woman. Maybe I just have a low sex drive or something.

I have very high SMV.

  • 6'3 175lbs, low body fat with good vascularity, tanned, blue eyes, thick brown hair, high cheekbones, strong jawline, hooded eyes, perfect skin and teeth, broad shoulders with slim waist, think swimmers body

  • Worked as a model over the summer in London

  • 3.7 GPA in computer engineering which I will use to do a masters in finance and work in investment banking, skillsets like that can often start on 6 figures GBP

  • fluent in 3 languages

  • Point guard of my university basketball team, was captain of my high school team for my final two years in school

  • come from a well off family, will inherit 6-7 properties

  • confident speaker, deep voice, never lose frame around anyone, probably more of a flaw than anything, very serious and businesslike which makes it hard to connect with people my own age

Disclaimer - before you call me a narcissistic asshole, these things are all objectively true. I knew if I just said I had high SMV then people would say I'm lying so I felt the need to type it out. If you don't believe me, fine. Just give me some hypothetical advice :)

Now I'm sure I'll have people tell me that I haven't read the sidebar, or that I'm bluepill, but I'm really not. I know I'd have to hold frame around this woman, I'd have to use dread, show abundance mentality, all of that stuff. I know I'd have to get any emotional support elsewhere.

I went to an all male Catholic school then straight into computer engineering which has a grand total of 2 females out of 60 students, so I have had pretty much zero interaction with the opposite sex. I don't like nightclubs or bars, or socialising in general to be perfectly honest. I have very little time for small talk and I find it exhausting.

I also had a shitty childhood and I was clinically depressed for years. I was on medication from 15 to 19, I slept 4 hours a night, barely ate, went months without speaking to anyone. I don't trust a living soul with the dark shit in my brain, even my dad, the only person who I really talk to. I wonder how he'd react if I told him I used to fantasize about beating him to death with a hammer.

What should I do from here?