I want to start by saying that I am a 23 yo med student living in Europe who is going to graduate soon.
I discovered TRP when I was 15 - before going to school, I was a natural - always outgoing, flirty, feeling good, confident. However, school conditioned me to be a regular dude and not express myself. It took me at least 2 years to become myself. My fake friends and the girls I was orbiting told me " damn man you changed, this aint you" as in " damn you re not our emotional tampon anymore".
I lifted hard, gained over 70 pounds until today ( currently at 200), looking and feeling better than ever. I developed my social skills, my looks, i read a lot, i got a better wardrobe. I worked, saved money and travelled alone ( loved it). I got girls and got over my insecurities slowly, one by one.
In 2019 I spent a few months in the States. I travelled and worked alone. The experience was great, learned a lot and applied all that I knew and acquired from 0: I could show my SMV and what I learned from the first moment.
However, when I returned home, I felt..unnatural. I felt like I need to " act accordingly " to my university life - I was still confident, but not as confident as when I lived alone 7000 miles away from home. So for almost an year I turned into a mess : I had a toxic roommate and I put up with his shit. I tried to lift him up but he pushed all my buttons and ruined my confidence slowly ( remember boys, frame applies to everything, not just for picking up). Because I felt like shit I started buying into his toxicity until I cracked and moved.
After moving, I felt better than ever. I learned what it means to have BOUNDARIES and to EXPRESS THEM. I vowed never to let people cross me, because we all know they do it because they want to. Nobody is stupid when doing that.
Fast forward now, I earned a study scolarship in Spain for an year. However, I moved into the dorms 3 months ago because it is cheaper. My roommate was a guy who also lifted, liked chicks ( he was a beta and a simp, I helped him get laid, helped him text better, talk better - sadly, he reverted back).
One week ago he had a sore throat. I walked for like 40 mins around the city for some throat spray and pills so he could feel better, wanting nothing in return because well, we have been roommates for 3 months and we are..."friends"(or so i believed).
Today I had emergency laparoscopic cholecistectomy (gallbladder removal). I have extreme pains and there s two older dudes in the room here in the hospital. Problem is, they both snore like darth vader. My roommate knows it takes me a lot of time to fall asleep and that sounds disrupt it( i almost always use earbuds).
So I text him " man, can you please bring me some of my earbuds, the guys snore and I wont be able to sleep(keep in mind I had an organ removed and sleep is important) and some water, i will pay ur taxi". It would have taken him 15 mins both ways.
However, he hit me with " nah man sorry i wont take the trip for just earbuds and water, i would have for real stuff".
My first instinct was to tell him "sure no prob". But, as soon as the semester ends, I am cutting all contact except "hi". He was supposed to visit me in spain and we were supposed to hang out during the summer. Guess what, never again.
You might say I am exagerated, but guess what: these are my boundaries. If your "friends" dont make a minimum of effort during your bad times, really think they are your friends?
ESTABLISH BOUNDARIES & LEARN TO CUT PEOPLE OFF.
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