I'm addicted to being hooked on "something."

If I work for 2 hours on my projects, I can't just be "still" afterwards, it's like I need to escape into instant dopamine degeneracy or to be "occupied" with something.

Multitasking.. watching 3 youtube videos at the same time, pausing, switching... It's fucked.

I'm typing this at 5 AM for this same exact reason... It's like I don't want to just... "STOP" and unplug. Don't even want to sleep.

I've tried stopping using willpower methods before (dopamine detox etc) , but even if I succeed for a week or two, it eventually falls apart.

This makes me think it's a mentality issue. If I have to do work for someone else, I might not always like it, but I'll do it fully. The moment I try to work on my own skills and projects, trying to ignite fire under my ass... I just dwelve back into instant-dopamine degeneracy.

Maybe It's because I don't have the BELIEF that the sacrifices will be worth it even if I succeed... maybe it's because deep down I'm afraid of failure... maybe I'm a pussy who can't endure the pain of "now"... or maybe I'm lazy and just plain delusional, I genuinely don't know. Maybe a mix of all of that shit.

This is unacceptable, I'm 22 for god sake. I'm posting here as a last resort because I genuinely don't know how to tackle this issue anymore. Any and all advice appreciated.