One thing that's been on my mind that I'm not sure I handled well in the past couple months is how I handled my LTR's sexual dysfunction.

Context:

Met on POF, she turned 31 this year and I'm 32. We had a LTR for just under a year. Sweet, level headed woman who I had great connection with/same values/life goals etc. Found out she was AWALT, pumped and dumped by Alphas for several years, one FWB and several hook ups. Should of assumed that much! She's always had pain issues with sex her whole life and she said she always assumed this was normal. She would get UTIs a lot from sex too. From the time since her last LTR, she couldn't get wet easily and lost her desire. This led to us having a pretty mediocre sex life due to her anxiety and pain. It didn't help she was smaller and I was bigger.

We almost broke up over matter because she wasn't willing to get it looked into. She relented to keep the relationship going. She went for pelvic floor physiotherapy which didn't solve the pain problem but helped a bit with her UTIs. At the same time we went to a sex therapist who told us to stop having penetrative sex in the meantime to disassociate pain with sex. During the course of these couple of months, I dealt with anxiety and depression as I found her really hot but could not have the sex I wanted. My work, sleep and passion projects suffered. It didn't help she had a lot of sex with guys before me.

She was waiting for a referral to a gynaecologist that would likely determine the cause of her pain and possibly resolve it through surgery or topical cream. By the time she got her referral, it was 4 months away. I felt I could not take the anxiety for that time, plus it would likely take longer with follow up appointments with the specialist etc. So I broke things off. She was pretty devastated and so was I, to be honest. She didn't want to be in touch ever again. Aside from the sex, the relationship was great and met all my other needs.

I wonder considering how great she was outside the bedroom if I made the wrong call. It's likely she would have eventually been able to have pain free sex and her desire would return. Not for sure, but likely from what I've read.

Not a unicorn because they don't exist. But she would have made a great partner for the long haul if there was a reversal with her dysfunction.

I'm feeling pretty low these days. Could I have handled this better? Was I a huge asshole for only going halfway through my support and then walking away? Or did I do exactly what I needed to do?

tl;dr: Girlfriend had sexual issues. Sex life was disrupting other areas of my life. Had oneitis. I supported her getting treatment but bailed halfway through.