I have a major problem in my life and I really need help. I've got a femdom fetish and it has messed me up. I started watching femdom porn at 12 years old. I'm 19 now and I want to get rid of it because it doesn't represent my life anymore. When I was in high school, I was bullied, had bad grades, no friends; I'd spend the whole day sitting in my room watching anime and playing video games.

Things have changed in the past year, I got admitted to a top university, started weightlifting, learnt how to program software. I quit those unproductive hobbies, I also stopped eating fast food and learnt how to cook. The fetish was a coping mechanism for all the bad things that went on in my life before I began self-improvement. 'If I'm going to be humiliated, then why does it have to be bad - can't it be fun?' No such bad things exist anymore yet the fetish still remains...

I did Nofap for 40 days but have been relapsing ever since. I suspect I might need a whole year of no PMO to fully recover. The only thing that bothers me is the age I started watching femdom porn. I sometimes think that because I started so young it might be ingrained into my head forever. An analogy is in Dexter where Brain watches his mom gets murdered as a kid and he turns into a serial killer. Am I doomed to be submissive for the rest of my life? I don't want to be submissive, I want to start my own business (security consultancy) and I want to date attractive women.