Sorry for posting from a throwaway, some people that I know, know my actual reddit username and I don't want them to know what I'm about to say (at least not yet)

I guess some info on me would be useful to you: 20 years old, 6'4, 198 lbs, in academia, lower middle class background, eastern European, and probably the most important- a virgin. Top of the class in both elementary school and gymnasium, kind of an overachiever when it comes to non-social stuff, underachiever when it comes to social stuff.

As I've already said, I'm coming from a lower middle class family, and here it means that my parents make combined 9k a year, which is by your standards pretty pathetic I suppose. It means that I don't have my own place or my own car, but I do have enough for some pretty decent clothes. I dare say that I have 10/10 personal hygiene and a good haircut, although I have accumulated some fat on the belly, but that's not visible under the clothes. I started working out recently, gave up on watching porn and masturbating as often as I used to, I'm trying to have a positive attitude about any kind of work that needs to be done and I'm always trying to look as good as I can (I'm not wearing a suit when I go to uni, but proper trousers, a formal shirt and a jumper when it's cold are a must for pretty much every occasion).

But here's the thing. I'm pretty much as incapable as it gets when it comes to social stuff, especially having any kind of interaction with girls. I haven't had a proper father figure, father was, and is, always out working his ass off so he could feed the family and always too tired to do anything when he's actually home, but from what I've gathered he's pretty blue pill. Same thing with the mother. I was bullied in elementary school and first 2 years of gymnasium and I was always discouraged, by both parents and school authorities, to fight back by any means. I hate parties, I hate mingling with people and talking about meaningless stuff or pretending that I'm interested in something when I'm actually not. I've openly disliked some people and I've been told more than a few times that my behavior is why I don't have social skills and that I don't know or can't fit in. I have a set of some very specific interests and I don't care about other stuff, which is, I guess, also why my set of social skills is pretty pathetic. I've read on here that a guy has to have a status, his place/his car/disposable income, which is what I don't have and won't have for some years to come and it's really beating me up, because those things are out of my reach, and yet are seen as a prerequisite for successful social interactions.

Now when it actually comes to girls, I've never had proper interactions with them and it was actually them who initiated the contact, exclusively when it came to school related stuff, probably because I openly displayed contempt for personal problems of others and small talk. I've suffered from a really bad case of oneitis in my final year of gymnasium which left me shattered for several months, and one in the first year of uni, which left me in almost a year long depression and general state of despair and not caring for anything. Now to be honest that probably happened because those two were the rare ones that actually did want to have something more with me than "hey what's for homework", but in both cases it was just a terrible friendzone from which I gained nothing but pain, and I fell for them just because I thought they were special by behaving differently towards me than other girls. And now I'm naturally afraid of girls and their motives, I'm even afraid to engage in any kind of conversation with them and for the last couple of months I've had a mindset that I don't and won't need a single girl in my life. But the pressure and loneliness are building up and I'm pretty sure it's safe to say that the bubble is going to burst at some point and that I'll go insane. I'm starting to realize that I just can't neglect and shove aside the urge to have sex and to reach a "next level", let's call it that way, of male-to female communication.

I've started to gain control over my life by working out, cutting off porn, masturbation and computer usage, but please TRP help me completely gain control over myself.

EDIT: Sorry for the wall of text