I used to post as DonMelbourne. This is the third post in my series about my Five Rules of MGTOW. The first two are:

  1. "MGTOW is about men" /r/MGTOW2/comments/lvu2n2/listen_to_your_mgtow_grandpa_mgtow_is_about_men/
  2. "MGTOW Rule 1: Maintain good physical health by investing time into exercise and eating healthily" /r/MGTOW2/comments/lwm6kl/grandpa_mgtow_rule_1_maintain_good_physical/

Grandpa MGTOW Rule 2: Maintain good mental health by investing time into family, friendships, and your hobbies and interests

MGTOW is men using red-pill knowledge to avoid the bad deals that society wants men to accept, and instead choosing to use their resources and talents to improve their own lives, finding happiness and satisfaction.

The red-pill means being self-aware, seeing the world as it is and "my" place in it, rather than as others tell us it is and tell us what our place should be. Those "others" may include other MGTOWs. Each man has his own needs and hopes. "Going your own way" is about making rational and common sense cost/benefit analyses in all areas of your life based on your own needs and hopes.

For me personally: I make sure I keep on good terms with relatives, men and women, as long as that doesn't compromise my needs. Similarly, with my friends both men and women. I hope I can form good friendships with women as well as men in the future. I won't get married or cohabitate because those are bad deals, but it is crazy to cut off people that can add value to your life just because of their gender. That's the behaviour of cults: telling you to break off relationships of family and friends. Beware of anyone who tells you this. They are pushing dogma.

"I DON'T WANT TO BE OLD AND ALONE

One concern that new MGTOWs bring up is: "I want to be MGTOW, but I don't want to be old and alone."

I have two responses to that:

1/ If someone asked you "How do I avoid being old and poor?", you'd naturally advise them to invest time and resources into improving finances, starting right now. That's the same approach to the question of how to avoid being old and lonely: you need to start investing in friendships and social circles RIGHT NOW.

2/ Men have problems making friends. Some men get married when really all they need is a friend, probably because those men find it easier to get married than to actually make a friend. But marriage is an expensive way to make a friend. Regardless of whether you are married or single, you need to spend time investing in friendships and social groups.

Why do people assume that marriage and children automatically mean not growing old alone? Marriage is no guarantee of companionship and friendship. Even ignoring divorce, there are LOTS of married men who are desperately lonely. See the reddit sub r/deadbedrooms to see the despair of men and women who are in bad marriages. As Robin Williams' character in the 2009 film "World’s Greatest Dad" said:

I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.

Children? Yes, children might help look after you in your declining years. But there are lots of elderly people whose children are either too busy or don't care to visit them. I visited my father most days in his Aged Care Centre before he passed away, and it was shocking the number of residents with children whom rarely visited their elderly parents.

Whether single or married, you need to invest in friendships. If you are lonely while you are single, you'll probably be lonely while you are married. Now, some men will be happier being married than being MGTOW, but such men would probably still be happy being single anyway. I think they bring their ability to be happy into the marriage arrangement. Whether single or married, keep up your friendships. Unfortunately, too often gaining a wife or a girlfriend means losing friends.

BEWARE OF USING SOCIAL MEDIA

Recently there have been a lot of articles about 'the algorithm'. The algorithm is a broad term used to describe how social media pushes content to people. The argument goes that social media wants to keep people coming back to their sites, so they have created algorithms that are designed to do just that. Social media companies keep track of what you watch and post, and so push information towards you based on that. That's fine as it is.

But those social media companies are doing more than that. Something horrible is happening within Western society at the moment. I'm 60 years old, and I can't remember society being so divided as it is today. The best explanation I've seen is simple: it is market-driven. Social media thrives on clicks. Clicks generate revenue, so the more clicks, the better. And the best way to get clicks is through pushing division and outrage. The 'algorithm' that social media companies create to push content is being tweaked to generate that division and outrage. It's simply the business model.

This is having a bad effect on people's mental health. Some professionals are now recommending a 'digital detox'. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-about-men/202002/social-media-and-mental-health-time-digital-detox

A growing number of studies examine the link between social media usage and mental health. These point to one clear conclusion: Low levels of social media usage are associated with better mental health... Importantly, one recent study found that people who limited their social media use to half an hour a day have significantly lower depressive and anxiety symptoms compared to a control group. All this suggests that over-usage of social media can be bad for mental health.

The validation that social media can provide is yet another external validation point that MGTOWLs should avoid. Seek validation from achieving goals that you set yourself.

KEEP BEING INVOLVED IN SOCIAL ACTIVITIES. ASK FOR HELP IF NEEDED

In order to live a good life, you need to invest in mental health by maintaining involvement in social activities. That's regardless of whether you are married or single. Find your interests, explore your passions. Join groups. Ask for help. Seek therapy if that is appropriate. Stay on good terms with your family, as long as that doesn't compromise your needs.

How about you guys on r/MGTOW2? What tips do you have that help to keep you sane? What hobbies, social activities, etc are you part of? What do you recommend avoiding?

As for me, I've recently stopped following the news on TV and on the Internet. I used to spend hours watching news on TV and reading the newspapers. But now it seems that everything is opinion, and hard news is hard to find. I do like watching the Youtube channel "The Hill", since it has two presentators, one on the Left of politics and one on the Right. I'm also trying to get into growing my own vegetables. The Youtube channel "Self-sufficient Me" is excellent. The guy is an Australian like me, which means his seasonal advice is more timely.

Your tips and suggestions?