I have myself to blame for not fully reading side bar and thinking this chick was really into me. Hb9 South American, perfect body and a modern insta famous type chick.

My problem was when I was drunk I couldn't keep my frame and I got super mad over little things she did. Once she kept rolling her eyebrows at me at everything I said infront other people and I felt disrespect at times.

Partly not sure if it was a shit test or disrespect but I think I must have failed earlier on and she knew I wasn't strong enough because I felt she had no respect for me infront of other people.

It might be just me but when a 23 year old little punk calls me a girl infront of people I basically looked at her and said fuck off.

There was also nagging on small things to get under my skin which may have been shit tests too. Simple things like what are you doing but with a bitchy tone which made me lose my cool.

I told her I had a drinking problem when we broke up and it's something I'm looking at as I was very mean a couple times. She told me her past boyfriends got more mad about big things and I get mad more about little things. They sound like the typical asshole fighting people etc. So it goes to show you the matrix inside a girls brain.

Definitely still blue pill, I have a short fuse from my dad and he's as blue pill as it gets.

On the one hand I'm proud of myself for seeing this girl on and off for 5-6 months and banging her every which way, especially since she's very hard to get locally but also disappointed because of the way she looks at me now.

Any suggestions on how to become more grounded and not have such a temper. Yoga ? Meditation? I may have to quit drinking

John from Chicago