During highschool I admired beautiful girls so much I couldn't speak to them. I was a good, smart boy, but lacking character or charisma to be attractive.

When I was a 21 yr old virgin, I started to become more of an asshole, and this led me to attracting more interest from chicks, and finally getting my first girlfriend.

After 3.5 years of a nice, but codependent relationship, I decided I want her to be more independent, and suggested her to go on a solo trip to South America. She went, and after 1 month of crying to me she's alone, some Chad hit on her and she broke up with me in skype to be with him during her travels. I was devastated and my self esteem was crushed. It was about 6 months of depression and 1-2 years of recovery. I really needed emptional support, but I was so invested in her so my friends weren't close enough to me to offer support. They were mad for me ditching them for her. I also couldn't afford therapy.

When she got back, she stayed with him but cheated on him with me sometimes because he couldn't offer emotional support, but I didn't want to get back with her after what she did, so she stayed with him. Was I mad? Yes. Did I lose respect for women? At first, yes. Until I met more and more of them.

This all happened about 4 years ago.

To me, Mgtow is to not look for a girl as a solution to your problems of loneliness / lack of self esteem. 90% of relationships are like that. Men looking for casual sex and a relationship, so they won't sleep or spend their weekends alone, but also don't have to grow and be stronger and more successful. This leads to many fights, cheating, abuse, breakups etc.

Men need to be independent, and strong, and never settle for a woman just because they're lonely. They should really admire this woman they want to marry - think she's smart, pretty, nice, trustworthy. It's ok to wait for 10 years until you find someone like this, and not settle for a dependent woman just because she's there and you're important to her.

Also, once in a relationship, it's not your responsibility to 'take care of her'. If you cry that she cheated on you after you helped her through a tough time, you can only blame yourself. Your relationship was based on help, not on respect or trust.

There aren't many women who will answer your standards, but you're 100% sure not to find them if you keep settling on average girls just so you can get laid casually.