Detrimental intensity of sexual urges

Supernumiphone · 2019-06-06T17:02:29+00:00

Meditation helps. It's no panacea but it does help. Sexual thoughts feed on themselves, building momentum. The more you are in control of your mind, and the less you allow those thoughts to run away, the less you tend to get so caught up in it all. The desire will still be there and you'll still get caught up in fantasies sometimes, but it can bring it to a more manageable level. Unfortunately it can take some time to see the benefits of a daily meditation practice, but all the more reason to get started right away.

Chance_Oblivion · 2019-06-06T17:25:52+00:00

Dude just schedule fap time. You are in your twenties and it's entirely biological- you dont need to fuck to get through the urges. Allowing for fap time is essentially harm reduction in action and is proven to be more effective than abstinence only. As your body matures and your biological drives calm down, you can start the zen monk mode stuff.

Delineatee · 2019-06-06T17:26:47+00:00

Jesus dude, I have the same issue and I never seen it talked about on /r/NoFap or anywhere else.

I've known about NoFap for the last three years. Yet I seem to have made no progress, or probably even made this worse. I tell myself that I should stop pornography and these negative outlets. But the next day, I forget my own resolves and relapse thinking it's not that bad.

I'm not sure how you feel post-relapse but I do feel insecure, emotional, drained of colour and I just want the day to end as fast as possible and not interact with anyone. I'm guessing you feel the same way. There really is a difference in behaviour post-relapse, my voice also feels no bass and weak. I'm guessing from a relapse you lose a lot of testosterone.

I've recognized that all my sexual urges do not surface out of nowhere. It is usually triggered. Whenever I am mindlessly browsing and I see a pic on /r/all of some nsfw post, it sticks in my subconscious and I'm not able to focus. It's always from mindlessly browsing without a purpose. I stumble on something nsfw and it keeps your horny for the entire day.

Though I've had periods where I did not relapse for 2-3 weeks and they all had something in common.

Although I am ex-Christian, when I was a Christian I got a purpose in my life, and God occupied all facets of my life. No sexual urge seemed to beat me, I had no issues with my sexual urges. But eventually I just could not put my head around spirituality, so I stopped believing and all sexual urges returned to my life.

But then I found work in a job that required all my life. Woke up and worked for 12-13 hours a day in a busy environment and I had no time to just go on the internet and relapse. There were no triggers in this environment, so nothing to do with sexuality really creeped into my mind.

All these things seemed to take my mind and time away from the internet and focused on something else. There could be something in your life, your career, give it your all, make it a lifestyle. Give up everything for it, and anything else, sexual urges, women, irrelevant things, they are just distractions to your goals.

Although I haven't solved it myself, I'm getting into a career pretty soon. That'll keep me away from the internet where all these triggers seem to reside. There my mind will be focused on my career and that only, and won't be vacant where sexual urges can creep in.

Impossible-asset · 2019-06-06T18:18:42+00:00

I would feel it an exercise in futility to tell a 20 year old healthy Male to try and quell sexual desire. Testosterone usually gives 0 fucks about whether you want to quell it or not. Just how it goes. So we can put that "feeling embarrassed" thing to bed right now. Nothing to be embarrassed about. Urges like that are part of nature.

That said, you DO seem to have a problem. But masturbation is not it, unless of course its compulsive. But the problem i see from your post is the mental fight you are having with yourself. You are mentally trying to compete with biology, and that is fucking HARD to do. impossible? No. Impractical? Absolutely.

So. Heres the solution. Step by step:

Accept that you're young and young men want pussy almost CONSTANTLY.
Give yourself verbal permission to rub one out. Then go do exactly that. No guilt tripping, no self shaming, no embarrassment. You're the boss, and you say it's ok.
If it's a behavior you want to curb, just give yourself permission, but add the addendum "a little later". Even if its 20 minutes later (by which time all but the strongest urges will have passed on their own). There wont be a struggle or a fight, because you have given yourself permission to do it, but just are shifting the timing. That puts you back in control, not your biology.

If you really NEED it, hire a professional escort. No shame in that either. I am not a roofer, plumber, electrician, or lawyer. When I need those services, I go to a professional. And escorts are no different. It's a service.

I hope that helps.

TigPlaze · 2019-06-06T19:23:07+00:00

Get yourself a good quality fleshlight and some lube. Feels way better than regular fapping and it clears the mind. Don't worry. There's nothing wrong with that. Don't listen to the obnoxious haters who have a problem with that.

Bartand · 2019-06-06T20:27:58+00:00

Some medications like SSRI antidepressant can reduce libido.

GlobalAsshat · 2019-06-06T21:43:08+00:00

If I was 20 I'd red pill and work on my personality and start to "spin plate" ... this harassment thing is overhyped by the media and really doesn't happen as much as many people think. I'd worry more about accidental pregnancy, but you can always get a vasectomy to deal with that.

You'll feel much better about yourself if you red pill and try to become the best version of yourself than if you swear off all women for life.

NeverNeverLandIsNow · 2019-06-06T23:24:48+00:00

At that age I suspect most guys were in a similar situation, I know I was, it DOES get better as you get older but for now I would say just keep fapping, hire an escort if you have to but fapping is less dangerous.

Legendforlife-P · 2019-06-07T12:42:23+00:00

Have you ever thought about reading and meditating on the Bible? That might be really helpful! Worst case scenario you read a little bit.

Happy_Mask_Salesman_ · 2019-06-08T01:57:20+00:00

I’m in the exact same boat as you.

Nofap is possible, but especially now that you’re in your prime sex years, it requires a lot of discipline - and you’ll have to change other areas of your life to compensate the weight of it.

For me, that’s been cutting out instagram, late night internet sessions, warm showers, and being alone with electronics. It may seem hard, but I had to reach a point where I wanted to sacrifice things to help me do it.

You can do it, you just need the discipline.

treble-n-bass · 2019-06-08T23:57:04+00:00

You don't need therapy. You need to jerk it. It's NORMAL to feel what you're feeling, dude. Especially at 20. I jacked off a LOT from 11 years old until I was in my 40s. I still do. It's a basic human RIGHT to pleasure yourself. There's nothing unhealthy about it, unless you make it unhealthy in your mind.

ScrewJita · 2019-06-09T02:45:47+00:00

Dude, just spank it. Christ. I have bipolar hypersexuality, and prior to hitting about 40 and getting on some good psycho-meds, I had the same experiences. Several times a day I had to rub one out, or else my mind would get foggy, my anxiety would start to rise, it might set off my PTSD... Shit would spiral out of control. This went on all throughout college. Morning, noon and night; that was my schedule. This was the 90's, long before porn was instantly available.

This is part of being a male animal. Yes, animal. We're made of meat just like all the cute and fluffy critters. Period. It is unnatural, unholy, and frankly a crime against Nature to hate that part of yourself. Spanking ain't hurting nobody, so fuck it. Cause you're still gonna want to bang chicks either way, but in this case at least you'll have the option of thinking about other things.

And dude, your success or failure as MGTOW is strictly a personal metric. It's called "going YOUR own way" for a reason. Blind worship of ANY book or philosophy will lead you to misery.

Perfection is a limitation... seek Glory instead.

Title	Detrimental intensity of sexual urges
Author	dickle_doot
Upvotes	3
Comments	16
Date	June 6, 2019 4:52 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW2
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW2/comments/bxj0p5/detrimental_intensity_of_sexual_urges/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW2/detrimental-intensity-of-sexual-urges.813228 https://theredarchive.com/post/813228

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