About 7 months ago I decided to separate from my wife. The marriage was getting more and more toxic and I eventually decided we needed some time apart for the sake of our son (11). After about 4 months of separation we started trying to work it out and after about a month it became apparent it just wasn't going to work. When we initially separated and we were working out co-parenting schedules she flat out told me that I couldn't just have him on the weekends because she didn't want to always have to be the one to take care of all of the responsibilities. I understood that and was willing to work with her but one day she just handed me a paper with the schedule she wanted typed on it and after a few weeks of trying it I realized it just wasn't going to work out because what she wanted required that I work 2 half days and then go get him. I was up front that I was really struggling with the schedule and was only able to manage it because of COVID allowing me to work from home more and my son not being at school, but there were a few weeks where I simply couldn't leave work one of the days because of something that was previously scheduled and my ex would try to give me grief about it. Since I saw that we were trying to work on things I didn't push too hard about the schedule because I started staying over at the house 4 times a week to get to see him more.

Now that we are separated again and I am making arrangements to file, I have readdressed the issue of the co-parenting schedule. Without discussing it with me, and having to find out with around 24hrs notice, my son decided he wanted to go back to his school the last few weeks of the school year so my wife agreed to take him. I literally found out the night before from my son when we were chatting on the phone. I was totally happy about this, but it completely changed my pickup schedule for him because I was now having to go get him at a different time and from a different place. At the same time, my son doesn't want to spend the night where I live because I live with 3 other guys that he has never met, doesn't have his own space there and he's still processing the situation. I can't help but feel part of it is that his mother is most definitely making him feel insecure about it, so it cut out 2 of the already precious few hours each of the weekdays I get to spend with him. I'm still working on finding a place all of my own, but I am also having to take care of half of the bills at my former house as well as paying what we agreed on for child support. I am paying $1600 a month to her to try and keep things on the up and up for when we go to court. He will spend the night with me at my parents' place, but that's 60 miles from where I live so it's only a weekend thing. Not to mention I am the one that has to drive and get him and drop him off 100% of the time, she hasn't helped with that once either.

When I finally brought the scheduling up with the ex and was trying to point out how unfair it was with how little I get to see him, she essentially put all back on me and tried to spin it wasn't her responsibility to make sure I made time to come see him. When I was at home, my wife would leave at 5 AM for work so I was the one that got our son up, got him ready for school and dropped him off every morning. This was for 4 years straight. Her schedule changed because of COVID so she can now take him to school, but she tried to guilt me for that when I asked for a schedule change. She "kindly reminded" me that she has to get him up and ready every morning while I am not around to help. The irony hurt. I also haven't received my half of the stimulus which I could definitely use on a deposit for a new place. I've mentioned that a few times to no avail and I am just trying to be cautious until everything is filed and official because I don't want it to come back on me. Anyways, sorry for the long winded rant but I am just curious if I have any leg to stand on here? What can I do to get my son more without making him uncomfortable? I want to be clear in my demands without coming across as demanding. I just have a feeling I am being passive to try and help my situation and judge isn't going to give 2 shits anyways, so I am just hurting myself.