Hello fellas. I have reached the end of my patience in my marriage. My first marriage, her 3rd. I have tried so hard, and I think she has too, but we just fight too much and I am pretty sad most of the time in the last few years, knowing now I married the wrong person. I am hoping to go the Mediation route instead of Litigation as I understand this is vastly cheaper, but I have not consulted a lawyer yet.

I wanted to seek info from you all if you have any knowledge of situations similar to mine, as far as how bad I can expect a California judge to screw me in spousal support/alimony payments.

Married for 8 years now in California (probably 9 years by the time a months-long divorce would conclude), she had 2 daughters from her first marriage. She has been W-2 employed the whole time since marriage. Me, some full time W-2 jobs and some 1099 freelance work too. Marrying me got them green cards to stay here in the US (she is from Europe are girls from UK), and now the wife is a citizen. One girl (age 24) got citizenship and recently moved out, and works full time, with some community college done. The other (age 22) is still living at home, working part time, going to community college, with no interest in citizenship in the US. Not sure if any of that matters other than the fact that I am not their biological father and "assume" I would owe no child support.

I have the been the majority earner since marriage. I earned 3 to 5 times her salary depending on the years married. I inherited a decent sum from a parent while we were married. From what I can tell, my inheritance should count as "separate" property, and anything else we both had separately before marriage we would keep. However, I am understand as the higher-earner I would be subject to "spousal support" here in California. I have seen some "calculators" online for spousal support which only took into account current salary and years together, but I assume a judge would look at my inheritance as "ability" to pay more, which of course sucks if true. But it showed paying her for half the duration of marriage, 4 years, but not an amount that I would have assumed (enough to give her half of our combined earnings). It was actually less.

I don't want a fight with her in this process, I just want us both to be happy someday and not be mortal enemies, but if hiring expensive lawyers to protect assets is worth it, then it must be done.

My questions are:

Do Mediators do all the same calculations and judgements that a Divorce county judge would perform? In other words, would someone like me be better off with a Mediator?

Am I responsible for any child support for these "women" in their 20's? College or University potential tuitions?

My inheritance is in a Trust, but I understand some people have gotten screwed when funds have been "co-mingled". I have bought computers, a car, jewelry, all for these women, with my separate funds. Is that close to co-milgling?

I am sure this was rambling, but its just the start for me and so much going through my head.

Anyway I appreciate any guidance from you all.