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Any attys in here?

AlanTheGr8 · 2019-08-30T22:01:32+00:00

I'm pro per in Valid due to finances and really need help!...

AlanTheGr8

August 30, 2019

1 upvotes

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Post Information

Title	Any attys in here?
Author	AlanTheGr8
Upvotes	1
Comments	8
Date	August 30, 2019 10:01 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/cxnllv/any_attys_in_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/any-attys-in-here.819261 https://theredarchive.com/post/819261

Comments

[–]Knave7575 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]AlanTheGr8[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Knave7575 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Are you talking about your car question?

It seems like a fairly specific legal question. If you want legal advice it probably will not be free, you'll have to pay a retainer to a lawyer. I'm more familiar with Canadian law but many of the tenets are similar

In a nutshell, until you have an order saying that the car is your car, it is not yet your car. In Canada what you are trying to argue would be called a "reckless depletion of assets". What evidence do you have of the value of the car before and after her actions? Your best guess will unfortunately not be worth much. Can you quantify the exact amount of money lost?

Are we talking $500, $5000, $50,000?

Assuming that you can prove that the car lost value because of her actions, and it was a wilful act on her part, I imagine you could get compensated. It might be easier to just include the loss in your negotiations. For example, just tell her "you cost me $4000 by not signing the forms, we could argue it in court but I'll accept paying you $27,000 instead of $29,000 on our final equalization settlement". The problem with arguing it is that I feel your evidence of the value of the cars will be thin at best.

If you go to an attorney, you will likely spend more on the attorney than you ever recoup on the cars. Sucks but true.

[–]AlanTheGr8[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Well I did go to attorney on that and he screwed me over. My ex refuses to negotiate even a dime over that. He could have sought a court order but didn't and tried to negotiate a stipulation which we got but by then it was too late.

She wants to go to trial and hurt me as much as possible while pretending to negotiate to waste my time.

Trial is coming up on the 25th and I need some advice on what papers I need to file by when.

I am so depressed and out of it right now it's incredible. I also have zero money and am unexployed and their side refuses to negotiate on the vehicles or paying me anything in the interim to get me back on my feet while demanding I pay them monies based on prenup and threaten to take away the car I'm living in its crazy.

The deprived property is about $15-$20k.

This is in california....we don't have much more time to negotiate and Is literally probably have to file pleadings this week.

Also if I disclose if I have an alcohol problem that's currently in remission will that make the judge more likely to take car?

Also it sounds like first thing judge will ask is am I prepared for trial?

Can I say no?

It's a total mess and I'm beyond myself.

[–]Knave7575 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Your car decreased in value by $20,000? How much was the car worth originally? Maybe you should sell the car, use the money for an attorney, and hang out in a homeless shelter during the trial instead of living in the car.

Do you qualify for legal aid? Do you qualify for alimony? Do you have any kids? You have not given anything close to enough information to receive any advice.

In Canada, there are lawyers at the court houses that provide information. If that is not available in Canada, perhaps ask a clerk. Alternatively, start hanging out in the local library reading law books. If you are unemployed at least you have the hours to study.

You can say you are not ready for the trial, but what are you going to do after the 25th that will make you ready? In Canada as well, if you ask for an adjournment you usually have to pay for the lawyer costs of the opposing part. I am unclear if that is also true in the states.

I would focus on gathering evidence. Receipts for everything. Your current budget. Money that was spent during the marriage. Assume that nothing you say in court will be believed unless you have some evidence to back it up. Don't waste time arguing with the ex right now, focus on getting what you need. Every letter you send to the ex is that much less time you spent at the library or going through your finances.

[–]AlanTheGr8[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

Your car decreased in value by $20,000? How much was the car worth originally? Maybe you should sell the car, use the money for an attorney, and hang out in a homeless shelter during the trial instead of living in the car.

There were 2 cars, and it is long and drawn out, but basically they were towed for nonregistration even tho the prenup says that they are mine and I had many times and many months before asked her to sign them back over to me. I only had her on title to help build her credit rating which has turned into a freaking rats nest.

So yes, I lost that much, due to them being seized and me not being able to get them out of impound for a lot of reasons including her not signing them over to me before I could sell them and then being as difficult as possible after they were towed to the point that they had thousands of impound fees against them and then being even more difficult after that. It's endless and crazy and could take a volume to fill.

So I COULDNT sell them and she refused to take her name of the title for that exact reason -- so that I couldn't sell them and they would eventually get towed. And she continuously refuses to negotiate on that even that was a Pearl Harbor attack to deprive me of any income and throw me out on the street which is what happened and where I've been for a long time continuously fighting health problems and mental problems and court dates.

Do you qualify for legal aid? Do you qualify for alimony? Do you have any kids? You have not given anything close to enough information to receive any advice.

Legal Aid generally only gets involved in "child custody disputes" which we don't have...since we have no kids.

Do I qualify for alimony? Not according to the prenup, unless the prenup could be set aside.

In Canada, there are lawyers at the court houses that provide information. If that is not available in Canada, perhaps ask a clerk. Alternatively, start hanging out in the local library reading law books. If you are unemployed at least you have the hours to study.

At the court house there are people who will help fill out forms, generally in uncontested divorce... But they don't give advice.

Sure I have been on the net searching and all it does is prevent me from seeking employment and driving me crazy. As if I could figure out all this law in a few days or even weeks or months? It's nuts...It's nothing more than abuse of process designed to drive me crazy.

You can say you are not ready for the trial, but what are you going to do after the 25th that will make you ready? In Canada as well, if you ask for an adjournment you usually have to pay for the lawyer costs of the opposing part. I am unclear if that is also true in the states.

The policy of the state of California is that parties should Negotiate and NOT litigate. I don't have the money to pay for her attorney's fees. From what I can tell they are just doing this to drive me crazy....seriously.

Now I'm researching how to write a "Trial Brief"...and I might need to file that in a few days. And at the same time I am supposed to respond to their discovery. They time all their discovery bombs based on a calendar they know will screw the hell out of me.

Sure I could spend all my time for receipts but I'm totally broke and I can't do everything at once and don't know what to pick and choose from.....let alone have the money to print it out and file it all by, when, this Friday?

All this has been done has been done to make me crazy.... as for what do I say at adjournment...that this should never have come to trial, I have no money, she has spend $29k in legal fees, and she should start paying mine. There isn't any way I can fairly represent myself in my current position. That's the truth! I can barely even afford the gas to GET there and will have no good clothes to wear or even shower or shave.

What would would you say in a similar position? Where someone is spending all her money to harrass her spouse into homelessess and then, once he's homeless, forces him into a trial, knowing he can't do anything?

To me it's a complete abuse of process and then at the same time they are doing that they want me to pay me monies I promised them in the prenup, but have done everything they can to make sure that I'm unable to work and completely tied up.

I think the genesis is the exwife lied out the ass on her initial pleadings saying I make a lot of money when she knows damn well that I don't....

And so it goes and goes and goes...please tell me what I could do.

I also have a tooth infection so I have to once again choose between going to court to jack off or take care of my health...when it gets to trial who knows maybe I won't be able to talk. And the other side keeps saying I'm making up my health problems when I AM NOT!

It's not my ex I'm emailing it's her attorney and so her attorney just takes my wife position and charges $hundreds on top....She spends so much on the lawyer that she would be better off just hadnling it herself. The exwife is completely crazy.

She has already charged so much, on her credit cards, ($30k) for the atty, that, even if I agreed to pay what they are asking (and if I could! which I can't!) it would take 10 years to pay off at 20% interest (that she pays not me). And they make it impossible for me to work. She's crazy. All the while her attorney knows her client is an idiot and bilks and bilks her

[–]Knave7575 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

From what I can tell they are just doing this to drive me crazy....seriously.

It must feel like that, but it is unlikely to be true. Her lawyers are trying to get as much money as possible for their client. That is their job. For her lawyers it is a lot less personal than you might think.

that this should never have come to trial... To me it's a complete abuse of process

Why don't you make an offer to settle? It won't feel fair, but it sounds like this trial is going to be a disaster for you. If you had kids I would say that you have to try and win, but you don't have kids. That means you can walk away from this.

You sounds like you feel you are being personally persecuted. It is not an abuse of process. It is possible that they are playing hardball, but some lawyers do that.

She spends so much on the lawyer that she would be better off just hadnling it herself. The exwife is completely crazy.

Why do you care about your ex wife's finances? She is spending this money on a lawyer, not you.

She has already charged so much, on her credit cards, ($30k) for the atty

How do you know this?

please tell me what I could do.

I would strongly consider accepting their offer to settle. Your case for the cars sounds very weak. I know it feels incredibly unfair, but if you accept their offer you can start moving on with your life.

Can you declare bankruptcy? Would your debts be discharged by a bankruptcy?

[–]AlanTheGr8[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

From what I can tell they are just doing this to drive me crazy....seriously.

It must feel like that, but it is unlikely to be true. Her lawyers are trying to get as much money as possible for their client. That is their job. For her lawyers it is a lot less personal than you might think.

She destroyed my vehicles and refused to xfer title even b4 lawyers got involved.

Her lawyers moto is "When the ring comes off the gloves come off"... That sounds like abuse not negotiation.

I think her lawyers are just sucking blood out of her and her credit cards and don't care about her outcome.

that this should never have come to trial... To me it's a complete abuse of process

Why don't you make an offer to settle? It won't feel fair, but it sounds like this trial is going to be a disaster for you. If you had kids I would say that you have to try and win, but you don't have kids. That means you can walk away from this.

I have tried to settle but they won't give in anything on the cars or try to help me out.

Also the monthly pmts...if I can't make them...then I'll be in court again and again each missed pmts.

You sounds like you feel you are being personally persecuted. It is not an abuse of process. It is possible that they are playing hardball, but some lawyers do that.

Why do you care about your ex wife's finances? She is spending this money on a lawyer, not you.

But she won't get anything out of it based on what she's spent especially considering I'm homeless and can't work and she destroyed the last 2 cars and now wants to take this last car.

Isn't this just harassment and abuse of process?

If she spent monies getting me back on my feet instead of lawerys she might get something...

California policy is to prefer negotiation to litigation.

She only makes $30k/yr most ppl in that income bracket use court facilitator and limited representation.

She has already charged so much, on her credit cards, ($30k) for the atty

How do you this?

Because it's in their filing... she's spent more so far in lawyers than she could even collect on the prenup by charging her card's up at 20% apr...and that's before trial!

That's not crazy?

I would strongly consider accepting their offer to settle. Your case for the cars sounds very weak. I know it feels incredibly unfair, but if you accept their offer you can start moving on with your life.

Except I can't afford the pmts they are offering and how do I get a job with 0 money?

They did lower the pmts to $450/month on <$6666/month on income but it goes up to $1500/month above $6666/mo...

We need more levels my income would drop $1000 if it went up $5 more than their limit which makes it very hard to survive in calif.

All of this is now post tax not pretax since they changed the tax law... This is biggest sticking point rn... I have explained this to them but no response yet.

Can you declare bankruptcy? Would your debts be discharged by a bankruptcy?

Not alimony afaik

Thanks and I hope that made sense as I'm typing from mobile I might edit when I get on computer