Military Dad [26] of 3 kids. Returned from 18 mo deployment in October and got served divorce papers from Ohio after 4 yr marriage. Had a new home set-up and ready to start being a family again on the other side of the US. Was-wife [33] took kids and is living in a state across the country with her parents/siblings.

On my second lawyer and blown away around 7k$ already. Waiting for the pre-trial but, at this point a few things are already ordered.

  1. She is sole custodial parent.
  2. I owe child support now and must pay all bills. I am left with less than 200$ a month to live. Doesn't matter since CS isn't half or more (again I have to pay it all).
  3. I owe spousal support in form of the van payment and insurance. Tried to sell it to lessen debt and got hit with owing her a new car with equal to or more of the van payment.
  4. I must pay for everyones insurance. Yes hers too.
  5. I am only allowed to visit if she agrees and during my maximum 30 days of leave a year. Mind you I have to get plane tickets, hotels, and the travel time alone will cost me leave time. Estimate more like 28 days at the MOST with my kids. And it must be with my family in Michigan.

So Reddit, other than telling me I obviously should get yet another lawyer... what the fuck do I do? Can I do anything? I've had enough manipulative bullshit happen already. I've attempted peace talks with her but, the only successful one was in person a few weeks ago before I left. Where I learned she has had multiple jobs at least part time, she's uprooting our kids to move anyway (son has autism and that was used in court) to a different part of Ohio, and she doesn't want to use child support on the minivan (its a fucking minivan... made for kids) because she wants to travel to see her "girlfriend" in cleveland whenever she wants. This has turned into more of a rant than anything but, I waited 18 months to be back with my kids. Why is it ok for an allegation of incompatibility suddenly change to "alcoholism" and abuse with no supporting documentation required?! Maybe I've missed out when I was sitting alone in some conference room hoping the temporary orders would get better. Somebody throw me a bone here because I'm dying here wishing to be with my kids and this manipulative human has twisted her reality into being the only one allowed. And the court is ok with it.

Somebody please help. I've got nothing left.