I've (M48) been married for 21yrs and we have 3 kids (18, 16 & 16) and my wife is an alcoholic. She doesn't think she is, won't seek help and says she drinks because of 'stress'. Averages at least 70units per week ('safe' figure is 14 units!) She's degree educated but hasn't held down a 'proper' job for 17yrs. I'm sounding cruel here to others probably but she isn't fulfilling her potential. She just got fired from an £11k retail job after 22mths but that's not why I'm leaving. We've been living separate lives under the same roof for a couple of years. We argued over her drinking 3yrs ago when she accused me of having an affair - I wasn't and haven't. She promised it would change - it hasn't. When she drinks, she changes. She drinks to the point when she falls asleep - at dinner parties, in restaurants, foursome dinners. I can see the signs, I know it's going to happen - I suggest a glass of water only to have the eyes of hate bore into me - so I let it go and she falls asleep. Some of our friends laugh - they see it occasionally. I'm embarrassed - I see it often. She argues, forgets what's been said and becomes irrational. The kids see it too. So yesterday, I had a 'talk' which consisted of me saying how worried I was about her health, how unhappy - no miserable - I had become, and how I was leaving that night after the kids were home from school and after we told them. I'm at my parents now. She's apologised, promised to give up drink NOW, but I think I'm too far gone. I said I needed 'space to clear my head'. She wants a talk tomorrow - I'm not sure I'm going back.