I find TRP. I start lifting, improving myself, trying to "act Alpha," and, like some newbies do, completely misinterpret what it means and start being a self-centered dick to everyone. When my friends started being cold towards me I assumed that it was crabs in a barrel. I unfortunately took it too far and burnt quite a few bridges, especially with my older friends from high school. With my 30 min/day meditation practice starting to kick in, I'm starting to see things a little differently, and the self-awareness is painful.

I have no close friends. Right now I'm struggling trying to balance standing up for myself and not taking disrespect while at the same time being likable. I joined a fraternity and one brother in particular makes casual jokes about me not having any friends, about no one in the fraternity liking me when I first came around. I felt really dumb when he said it, especially after investing so much time in this place. I know that they like me now but looking back on my behavior is embarrassing.

I'm just taking it right now because, ya know, I'm working on it, but it really bothers me. In general I like how my schedule is right now, even though it doesn't involve friends outside of the fraternity. By the time I finish class, lift, and meditate and take care of my other business I'm so exhausted that I normally just go to sleep. Otherwise I hang out at the frat house.

I've been trying to talk to people in class but meditation is making a lot of anxiety come to the surface. The worst part is that I never even thought of myself as being socially awkward until now. There's obviously a chance that some of it is in my head. It's good to deal with these things but I'd really like some advice on this topic.

Honestly I don't really mind being alone at all but I understand that social skills and connections are important to success.