update: postponed my initiation. also any advice would be helpful. you can just read the tldr. if you want a more detailed description read the rest. thanks.

TL/DR: Joined a Upper Middle Fraternity my sophomore year (right now). Since there are 50+ frats, being top 7 didnt seem bad. Turns out no hot girls come to parties and some guys are weird meaning girls dont like them. Also I will be initiating today (in 1 hour from now), only a week after I got my bid. Usually initiating is after a school semester (around 15 week). This is a huge flag for me because after initiation I wont be able to leave. I think this is because the guys are scared that eventually over the semester people will start dropping and they wont have a pledge class (major financial blow). Now considering dropping and rushing as a junior to a top 5 fraternity where they always party with top sororities.

hi so at my college, everyone is in greek life. All the Hb5s and above are in sororities. I consider myself a pretty above average smv guy (the majority of the girls i talk to are all in top sororities and i have fucked a few of them. Girls from top 5 sororities also approach me while at clubs/bars) there is even this on girl in the number #1 sorority that is pretty interested in me (hb9). Anyway, Im a sophomore right now and I decided to join a fraternity this spring along with my friends. However, it isnt a top 5 house. It is maybe top 7 (so basically upper middle). The problem with that is that they basically have parties with lower middle tier sororities.

There has been a total of 3 parties since I signed my bid and the first one was an exchange. It was a pre-game and then a bus to an bar in downtown. In total the whole event cost $3,000 for the night. Also usually a sorority has around 120 girls in a house but mostly freshman/sophomores come to events. So we were expecting around 20-30 girls to come. But only 6 showed up. Turns out the sorority organized a bar crawl and never informed our fraternity about it (since bar crawls are exhausting, most people sleep in the night prior). So the fraternity basically spent 3k to have 6 average girls come. Since there were so little of them, i managed to talk to everyone of them and only 1 was remotely interested in me. The rest had boyfriends, were too fucked up, or were all bitchy and danced with themselves. Not a great start.

Anyway on the second party we had, the fraternity invited a pretty good sorority (many would say top 5). so the guys were pretty excited. This time, only 5 girls came and stayed for 2 rounds of flippy cup (about 30 min). 2 of those girls were also pretty fat/thick (i prefer skinny girls). These girls also portrayed a look that they were not excited to be there anyway although some were giving me IOIs (i was busy bartending to talk to them).

On the last event, it was “Afties” around 10pm to 1am. “Afties” are basically a “after-party” from happy hour. (happy hour is from 5pm till 7pm and we had a party after that). Here the our frat invited 5-6 different sororities to maximize the amount of girls that will show (this is typical). However, from the friends I have in different frats/sororities, I gained knowledge that there were 2 other fraternities that were also hosting “Afties” and both of them were top 5 fraternities. These houses often have parties with top 5 sororities, so that would definitely hurt us. In addition, the girls came at 11pm because they thought it started at that time. This time there was a lot of girls and it was pretty fun. However I was assigned to bartend (i was the fastest one that could make mixed shots) and that limited the amount of girls I could analyze and see. However, once the girls got drunk enough, they started talking to me and introducing themselves. I met more than 10 girls that introduced themselves to me. However, the majority of the girls there were all in bottom tier houses. Its kinda funny how I have fucked hb8s from top sororities but a hb5 girl from a bottom sorority acts bitchy to me. In total, there were only like 5 girls i would fuck at that party. Around 50% of the time, I was looking at fat girls with those cut off shirts because they think having love handles makes them sexy. I am almost positive there was not a single girl from any of the top 5 sororities (and trust me there are some ugly girls in those too).

The worst part is that I just got a text that I would be “initiating” today (a event that makes you into a official brother of the fraternity). This is concerning to me because this is just a single week after I got my bid. I have been a pledge for 8 days. All of the top houses and a majority of the rest have their initiation at the end of the school semester or even the next one (around 15 weeks). And once you get “initiated” it is really hard to drop out. Frats basically call “Initiation” becoming brothers for life. Its like a marriage. It is also suspicious that I have not had to do any pledgeship (such as remembering the history of the frat, or memorizing brothers of the house information). You hear about all that hazing in movies/news? Yeah none of that happened. We just cleaned the house and that is it. Although hazing is harsh, I believe its a part of the process and you bond with the other guys. This along with the short period of time for initiation is a huge red flag for me.

I believe that they are scared that our 11 guys in the class will eventually start dropping out and they might not have a class for the spring (a major financial blow). Personally I find it hard to pay fraternity costs for a house that I wont be happy in. Even though there are some cool guys in the house, there are some weird ones too. At the last party we had, I was chilling in the hallway next to some brother who was talking to a girl. Next thing I see, is that he is making out with her and she has her eyes wide open in disgust. This lasted maybe 5-7 seconds before she pulled away and ran the opposite direction (im not sure if she slapped him or not). This is really bad because that girl will definitely tell her friends and me being a part of the fraternity will automatically put me in a bad light. Although I knew about the status of the house (not being top house), I signed my bid because a majority of my friends signed as well. I also thought that since it was a top 7 house (out of the 50+ frats), it would not be that bad.

Now i have a decision to make. Either take the easy route and initiate today and live with the effects for the rest of my college career. The positive aspects are that they have a database of all the hw/exams from basically all the classes at my school. This will definitely help me out academically. Also since im in a fraternity, that means girls regardless of HB are vastly easier to meet than going out and cold approaching in a club/bar. However, I never seriously considered that I would be a part of the fraternity. The path I always saw was that I would drop and after those parties, that path has grown brighter. My other option is that I should drop the fraternity today, dedicate the time I would be cleaning at the fraternity to working out daily and gamble joining a top 5 fraternity my junior year. I am also probably only going to target one single fraternity because I previously rushed the other ones before. Will a top 5 fraternity even give me a bid since I am pretty old and they might be only looking to bid freshmen? What do you guys think? I personally have been feeling that I will be regretting this decision for the rest of my college career and I will have to pay for it too (around $2,000 a year just because Im a part of them). I honestly feel that I would feel better not even joining a house than joining the fraternity i am in right now