Hey guys, I need a little bit of advice and encouragement. I've taken the pill well over a year ago and I've applied alot of what I've learned, howoever we are still men and oneitis still happens, its built into our DNA. Here's the story.

So I'm in college right now, my final semester actually. There is this girl I met about a year ago and I've started to like her alot. I started thinking "oh she's different". Girl is very nerdy, nice and she's hot. She always responded to my texts, never flaked on meetings etc, so obviously I started to like her quite a bit. We've even gone to get frozen yogurt in the middle of the night together and we've gone to see a movie, so I figured she can't be repulsed by me at the very least. I really did get alot of IOIs from this one and I thought I had it.

So basically, she works for the school newspaper as one of the head editors and I happen to be a very good photographer, so she would always bug me to join the paper as a photographer. I used to refuse alot, but I finally gave in and the paper staff seems to appreciate me alot for my photoshop skills and my latest set of photos are the best in the whole paper. I actually enjoy being a part of the paper now and I don't want to leave.

Now here comes the hard part. I decided to tell her that I liked her about a week ago. At first she seemed not so shocked and she finally gave me an excuse that her life was too busy and she wouldn't have the time for a relationship, so I just said its fine and I understand. It wasn't a real rejection, she didn't tell me she doesn't like me, so I'm being cast into orbit like the Sputnik. I'm completely aware of it, but my feelings are getting in the way of my reasoning and its reverting me to being blue pill.

I thought I would be able to get over it, but we had a meeting the other day and just seeing her got me anxious, sweaty, my heart raced etc. And she was acting nice towards me, she even got me a gift bag for Valentines Day, which is ironic since she literally soft rejected me just a week before.

Anyway, my lack of being able to get over it is partly because I can't cut off contact since we work together and since she actually wrote a column for the paper, just DAYS AFTER rejecting me about why she's happy being single. I wish I could make this shit up. I might be going crazy, but I felt like it was directed to me, the article used the same excuses she gave me and that was my breaking point. I actually cried, I couldn't control it and yes you're going to call me a wimp and a beta, but I still have emotions, I'm human. Sometimes I can't control how I feel about certain things.

What I need is some sort of closure, I've essentially been friend zoned badly and I'm afflicted with the disease known as oneitis. What I was thinking of doing is just taking her aside after the next meeting and asking her what her answer would have been if she wasn't busy. If she says no, I'll just end my friendship with her there and if she says yes, I'll tell her that we should date despite her busy schedule and that we can't just be friends anymore. I feel like that might make me be able to get over it, maybe instill some dread. If anyone has some advice, I'd appreciate it. Sorry for coming off as so blue pill, I've definitely slipped up quite a bit.