There’s a lot I need to get off my chest

15 points•4 comments•submitted by yecreeper15 to r/teenagers

So here we go, mega rant.

I despise being born male so much. I can’t even wear what I want to wear. I’m still closeted about being trans to everybody but a couple friends. Being stuck in this body is horrible, I wish I could get some gender affirming therapy. Another thing is, it will be almost near impossible for me to ever find a partner. First I would have to find a girl I would like then they would have to 1. Be lesbian/bi/pan 2. Be open to dating trans people and 3. Like me back. My options are so limited it hurts. Another thing is it’s scary how transphobic so many people are.. Almost every day, I receive a decent amount of hate for simply existing. I get essays on how I’m just a fake mental case every week or so. Just and hour ago I had a guy saying he’d like to gas all insert slur for trans people here just like hler. (Among other things). A couple minutes ago, my favorite subreddit, meant for wholesome trans content was raided, with posts worse then the stuff I’ve mentioned above. I don’t think I can even repeat the general idea of this post I saw as part of the raid. Scide rate for trans people is going up, and nobody seems to care, in fact the majority of people I’ve seen are celebrating it. It’s a horrible world to live in. I can’t leave my home country to travel period, since most other countries have laws against people like me having basic human rights. Personally, this stuff is annoying to me, but not life changing. S__cide is not something I think of super often, but I can’t say the same for others I know. I believe I just lost my best friend like this. The world is so cruel nowadays. Another thing is, my parents are starting to drive me insane. I get punished for literally everything. I’ve gotten most things taken away for reasons such as: having a noisy keyboard, taking weirdly, staying up until 8 pm, and just yesterday, my parents took away my phone and all contact to my friends in order to help me get over my fears of something. The doctor recommended a therapist, but instead they just took my phone and laptop. So I can’t talk to any of my friends anymore. I’m currently writing this from an old phone I hid in my desk for occasions like this. I just want to be a normal kid. A normal girl. I want to play video games with my friends. Unfortunately, I’m not allowed to play video games with any violence period, and for no longer than 30 minutes a day, and none at all over this summer. This rule lasts until I’m finished university. I don’t want to end my life or anything, but like what am I even supposed to do. I was going to come out to my mom over text, but of course I can’t do that any more. I’d just like to wear clothes I feel good in. Not too long so I saw a girl in my class wearing the skirt I wish I could buy, and I cried so hard. I was sitting there in sweatpants, an atari t-shirt (my favorite tee actually) and a bra I made myself so that I would have to expose myself. Life is horrible, I wish it would get better. I’m really sorry everybody about this massive rant, and I don’t feel like you need to reply, but I needed to get this off my chest. So here, you all can take my problems, I sure as hell don’t want them.