So I came across a post on r/AskFeminists about sexuality and I tried to write about it as I am banned by them now.
Doesn't history show it's actually the reverse:
Ok, tell me what women were obliged to do, other than some "basic life skills" and providing "sex"..
But men in turn risked their lives, worked their arses off, died in wars and provided and protected females for centuries.
You can see clear examples of knights, who held power but were actually slaves of queens because of what? SEX!! Queens often used to have adulterous relationships with them.
although queens are typically devoid of a lot of power due to their gender, this type of relationship gives the queen more authority. She commands a certain kind of respect and authority in this position, and the knight must do as she commands or risk losing her. In this way, adultery can give queen more power, which is attained more through their sexuality than through political means, as in the case of the king. In feudal society, the queen is generally devoid of political power, but she makes up for this with sexual power.
This can be applied easily to Le Morte d’Arthur because the characters fall precisely into this mold. Queen Gwynevere seduces Launcelot and gains power in this way, because she is able to control him in a sense. The reader is led to believe that Arthur is at least somewhat aware that this could be taking place, but he chooses to ignore it, because he does not want to lose Gwynevere.
Similar is case with women in African regions they repress their own sexuality and prepare themselves by practices like Labia elongation (this is done and enjoyed by women themselves):
"In the discussion of female initiation rituals during the preparation for the OMM Extraordinary Conference, a key topic of interest was the elongation of the female labia minora. In many places in Mozambique the practice is known as puxa-puxa (buxar is "to pull" in Portuguese). Before their initial-in tion, young girls from the age of eight to ten are instructed by an older female relative (though never her mother) regarding how to apply a home-i made pomade and gently pull the small lips of the vagina with the purpose of making them longer. About five centimeters is the desired length. After the first instruction girls are left to do the work on their own or preferably with other girls at some secluded place. In the countryside the girls go to a secret place in the bush; in the cities the bathroom of an apartment will serve the purpose. In 2005 in Tete province (northern Mozambique) Brigitte Bagnol and Esmeralda Mariano studied the practice: "They pull in each other so that it will not hurt, among friends, one in front of the other.... They pull each other when they are young, only those who are not married" (2012:46)."
They also apply tattoos, scents and a lot more because "traditional" sexual capacity-building has been transferred from rural contexts into urban settings, empowering young women in love relationships with older, richer men."
"In order to hold on to their men, "disquettes invest remarkably in making themselves beautiful and desirable" and "invest a lot of energy, vigilance and assistance from marabouts to watch over their precious but capricious i catch" (2005:310). Stories follow of men who have been seduced and drugged by disquettes with doctored drinks, only to wake up and discovery both the women and their valuables gone. In telling all these stories, thei author's tone is characterized by curiosity regarding the specific urban meti aphors for different types of women, men, and sexual relationships, but i also quite a strong (moral) condemnation of this life of "generalized pro-i miscuity" and "commoditized sex" (2005:295,298).
By comparison, the tone of Christian Groes-Green's "To Put Men in al Bottle': Eroticism, Kinship, Female Power and Transactional Sex in Maputo, Mozambique" (2013), which investigates very similar phenomena, is remark-i ably difterent. Groes-Green sees things from the points of view of young i men and women, with a particular interest in the strategies employed by the young women—in Maputo called curtidores (women enjoying lite)-vis-a-vis :the older, wealthy men, the patrocinadores, meaning "donors" or "sponsors" (2013:102). He looks at what is often termed "sugar-daddy relationships" (a term that also includes the disquette-thiof relationships described by Nyamnjoh), but he does so in ways that are quite different from Nyamnioh's I approach. The mainstream perception of sugar-daddy relationships takei male supremacy for granted, with the young women often portrayed as vic- i tims of male manipulation. In Nvam John's rendering, this relationship is (almost) turned upside-down, with hapless men portrayed as victims of female manipulation. Groes-Green tries to look at things in more nuanced ways. For example, he is interested in discovering those "emale spaces in which erotic power can be exerted over men," but he is emphatic that thei existence of such spaces by no means implies "that eroticism has thel potential to overthrow larger socioeconomic, gendered or racial struc-i tures of inequality." His investigation and his approach nevertheless sug-i gest "that even in societies that appear heavily patriarchal we might find spaces for female assertiveness" (2013:103)."
This Sugar Daddy relationship can be seen in European kings and their mistresses too, which were often one of most powerful figures in courts:
"Most members of a king’s court would’ve known who his mistress was, and likely been jealous and suspicious of her influence. Yet members of the court could also advance their own interests by winning a mistress’s favor. In the 17th century, Barbara Palmer helped men like Henry Bennet, 1st Earl of Arlington, gain political access to her companion Charles II, King of England. She also helped secure official titles for some of her illegitimate children with the king."
"Henry II, who was the King of France in the mid-16th century. Henry II’s mistress was named Diane de Poitiers, and he often presented her in a way that suggested she was the Roman goddess Diana and he was a god beside her. If this sounds a little too abstract, just think about how Jackie Kennedy framed JFK’s presidency in a Life magazine profile after his death: “There will be great presidents again, but there will never be another Camelot.”"
Look at this poster this clearly depicts "Simping" by knights.
I CAN PROVIDE EVEN MORE EXAMPLES OF FEMALES, THEIR CONTROL OVER SEXUALITY AND SEXUAL EXPRESSION AND REPRESSION TO GAIN RESOURCES AND POWER.
“everywhere sex is understood to be something females have that males want” (Symons, 1979, p. 253). One major psychological basis is presumably the mismatch in sexual desire: By and large, men want sex more often than women, including desiring to commence sex earlier in the courtship and with lower standards for finding someone acceptable as a sex partner (e.g., Kenrick et al., 1990, Simpson and Gangestad, 1991). A review by Baumeister, Catanese, and Vohs (2001) compared men and women on about a dozen different markers of sexual desire, including desired frequency of sex, desired number of partners, frequency of spontaneous arousal, thoughts about sex, positive attitudes toward genitalia, sexual fantasy, willingness to sacrifice and risk for sex, masturbation, and self-rated desire. On all measures, evidence indicated men wanted sex more than women."
"Because the man typically wants sex more than the woman, she has a power advantage. According to the “principle of least interest,” the person who desires something less has greater control and can demand that the other (more desirous) person sweeten the deal by offering additional incentives or concessions (Waller & Hill, 1951). Hence sexual economics theory begins with the assumption that female sexuality has exchange value, whereas male sexuality does not."
Let's talk about prostitution, this business is heavily dominated by women. Men have almost no scope in prostitution. Even on Onlyfans most viewers of male models are male "Ryan is one of an increasing number of heterosexual men uploading explicit content for their mostly gay subscribers – Ryan tells me that he estimates his subscribers to be “97 per cent” men. "
Prostitution is prime example of women enjoying resources on basis of their sexual power. "Overall, an estimated 16 percent of men pay for sex in the U.S., according to a 2005 report by social work professor Sven-Axel Månsson of Malmö University in Sweden. And a study published in 2000 of 998 street prostitutes and 83 call girls in Los Angeles led by sociologist Janet Lever of California State University, Los Angeles, suggests that 28 percent of men who patronize prostitutes and nearly half of those who employ call girls buy sex regularly, with the rest being occasional customers. Scientific American
Marital rape, forced marriages, sex slavery, the stoning of non-virgin women, FGM, domestic violence, etc. Those are ways in which men historically used sex to control women.
Utterly dumb conclusion, let me correct you. It was not 'men using sex to control women', It was 'men controlling women for sex'.. Which again means women had a resource called "sex".
Although your examples completely show your knowledge and how much you know about gender relations.
"Marital rape" Sex was mutual obligation to both genders for their spouses
"the husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. (1 Corinthians 7:3–4 ESV)"
"Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Corinthians 7:5 ESV)"
"The stoning of non virgin women"
I think you are talking about "Zinah" which again is gender neutral law for both men and women
"'Ubada b. as-Samit reported: Allah's Messenger as saying: Receive teaching from me, receive teaching from me. Allah has ordained a way for those women. When an unmarried male commits adultery with an unmarried female, they should receive one hundred lashes and banishment for one year. And in case of married male committing adultery with a married female, they shall receive one hundred lashes and be stoned to death.(17:4191) I guess you can see pattern "adultery" wasn't seen a mutual thing it was seen as something a "man commits'' although both get punishment but still a man is seen as preprator.. Gynocentric enough? huh?
"The woman and the man guilty of zināʾ (for fornication or adultery),- flog each of them with a hundred stripes: Let not compassion move you in their case, in a manner prescribed by Allah, if ye believe in Allah and the Last Day: and let a party of the Believers witness their punishment."
— Qur'an, Sura 24 (An-Nur), ayat 2
"FGM"
FGM again is an example of how women try to embrace their sexuality and sexual scanity in order to gain resources.
Acc. to a survey "The percent of individuals who reported that they generally approve of female circumcision was higher among individuals in Egypt (32%), and lower among individuals in Iraq (13%).
Within Egypt, the percent of individuals who reported that they generally approve of female circumcision was higher among females (51%), and lower among males (14%)."
Egyptian lawmaker, Elhamy Agina, once claimed that Egyptian men are “sexually weak” and that women needed the procedure to reduce their “sexual appetite"
Somali men in Oslo acknowledged that men in Somalia disliked the practice but that it continued due to social obligation [1]. Men agreed to it so as not to upset their mothers [2]. Somali men in Norway no longer felt social pressure to perform FGM. In fact, they maintained that it was prestigious for a woman not to have been cut [1].
Fathers in Egypt acknowledged the wish to abandon FGM and a longing for change. They cited social pressure and fear of rejection from the community as significant barriers to the abandonment process. The entrenched sense of social obligation was stronger than the belief that FGM was against their religion [3].
Men have always opposed FGM as practice but at same time MGM is widespread plague throughout world but none even see it as a problem, I wonder why? because male sexuality and harm to it is not seen as important.
"Domestic violence"
This is also almost entirely gender neutral.
I think in the minds of the MRA/incels, they think agency = control.
Wait, you absolute dimwit hypocrites. Don't your minds actually think the same as "patriarchy" where men have agency so they automatically have control? Also women don't have a little "agency" they have a total control over sexuality.. Most sexual repression of women is done by women themselves. Men even allow prostitution, rad. feminism is against prostitution.
So a woman having sexual agency is a woman that has the ability to turn down sex, and to MRAs that feels like "control" to them.
Yes, because men demand sex at a way more rate than women ans sex is seen as something "done by women to men" this is also why rape is seen as something only done by men too (ofc. this view is changing but still) if not this then male is not worse.
They also have this view that women use sex to gain money, favors, gifts, status, get what they want, etc. Some do of course, but most women are still poor or working class.
I have presented a lot of examples of this earlier too, working class women can have power, favours and gifts in their own households. One example of it is dowry system in Islam i.e. Mahr and men's obligation to provide in almost all cultures without anything in return but "basic life skill" and ofcourse sex.
Similar is with prostitution, it was legal throughout history and women were openly changing resources for sex, nowdays it's boosted by onlyfans or other institutions.
In the movie The Hot Chick, the protagonist flirts with a barista to get free coffee as a woman and is disappointed when she can’t accomplish this after a spell turns her into a man.
An article by huffpost which writes about Nicki Minaj goes like:
"Out of all the men in the world, why would she put label-mate Drake as the “love/lust-interest”? Drake represents the wealth that she could claim by being with him."
"The Drake lap dance only further shows her power and feminist attitude because as he becomes enchanted by her sexuality, she holds the power. Rather than letting Drake touch her ass, she walks away leaving him drooling for more; she’s tired of being an object of affection."
This shows basic sexual economics, how women use sexual libido and affection of men to gain power or resources.
But they think for whatever reason that this behavior is common among women, despite most women dating men of a similar income level.
What? This behaviour is so common because the reason he provided is super naive, women indeed marry higher class men and men with higher social or class status. This can be easily seen, even women with zero earnings marry earning men. Even if most women earn today, they mostly marry richer men. Not to forget they've alimony laws by their side always.
If women could easily become wealthy through sex, as MRAs believe, than most women wouldn't be poor or working class as they are now.
You have to be sexually appealing, there are thousands of rich men who have mistresses or non productive wives. Also not "all" women can marry rich men because very few rich men are there and women are also one of reasons why men are very competitive to get higher status.
