Hi all. Just another mini-story as I try to continue encouraging my husband to take the lead on both the small and the large things. Trying to keep it to smaller stuff at this point to practice doing it well and to give him a chance to work up to bigger things. Inspired by this post and this post.

Would love your thoughts on this bit, or any personal experiences with similar situations.

Story:

So on the weekend we were attending our friends' wedding, who recently attended our wedding and very unexpectedly gave us a cash gift. We explicitly stated in our invites that we didn't expect gifts, but they went ahead and gave us one anyway. I stored the amount in my mind and intended that we at least return their generosity.

The day of their wedding comes around, we are frantically getting ready that morning, and as he's pulling the car out so I can get in more easily in my heels (such a gent, we have a gravel/mud kind of driveway) I realize we have totally failed to get a card or the cash/cheque. Clearly one of us should have done something, neither of us did, and here we were with literally zero minutes to spare on the drive. (I briefly wondered if he should have taken the lead on this and either delegated the responsibility to me, or done it himself, and then dismissed it because FUCK we're already almost late whatarewegonnado?! We later both admitted to thinking about it but then forgetting. Nice friends, eh?)

So I brought it up once I got in the car. We mutually mulled over the idea of stopping (where???) to get a card and cash, and risking being late, or waiting till later (there was a separate receptionish get-together at a pub) when there might not be the proper channels to hand over an envelope. I've been to literally one other wedding in my adult life and couldn't tell how gauche it would be if we fucked up in either scenario. So I said, "Well babe, I really don't know what's best. You decide. I'll back you up."

He figured out a good place to stop on the way over (hooray for drug stores with greeting cards AND cash back at the till!), we found a card together, signed/sealed/delivered into appropriate fancy envelope box, and made it to the ceremony just in time. I told him I was so glad that he took charge, that I was really happy with his solution to our little problem, and give him a little squeeze and kiss before we sat down.

I am not even sure my reaction had any impact on him, but I was genuinely grateful and impressed. This was a small event, but I can definitely imagine it going really badly if I had a different attitude (ex. Why didn't you get this sorted out before? They're your friends!). I would have liked to brag a little in front of others as a reinforcement but I admit, I was embarrassed about our forgetfulness. Am I delusional or did I actually encourage his leadership in this situation? Is it possible he sees it as me trying to get out responsibility for things?