The problem is with her saying she was crying so he should've stopped. How was he supposed to read her mind? It was her first time, he could've been confused that she's crying because she's losing her virginity not because she wants him to stop. Everywhere he is being called a rapist and pedo despite only being 3 years older than her, even for pedophilia criteria you need to be 5 years older to be called a pedophile
Sure, but does it make them a rapist and sexual abuser? Lots of girls cry when they lose their virginity, just because he didn't ask if she's okay doesn't mean he sexually assaulted her because he made the grave mistake of not checking up with her
She went to his place to have sex with him then she started crying, that can easily be confused with her crying from losing her virginity. Stop ruining men's careers just because you feel like it. It makes him a shitty partner but he was young himself and didn't pick up on her body language, that does NOT make him a rapist and pedophile
I'm a girl and I was raped myself as a child, yikes back at you, you sound like the groomer. Don't say shit without knowing the actual story. It was legal where it happened, in New York.
I don't have a crush on Ansel, look, I cried when I lost my virginity, so did many of the girls. I completely agree that he was a douche for not checking up on her or picking up on her body language but calling him a pedophile and rapist for that? That's so far, he could've been genuinely confused that shes crying from losing her virginity. I know my boyfriend got confused when I had sex with him and cried, Ansel didn't care and that makes him a horrible person, and that a very bad sexual experience. But calling this pedophilia is very far and actually super insensitive and invalidating to victims of pedophilia like me.
She never asked him to stop, she said she dissociated. I can understand what she means because I dissociate during sexual stuff too. I have had many scenarios when guys did stuff to me and I dissociated - do I call those guys rapists? No. I understand that they couldn't possibly know I was dissociating.
And saying he needs to break her in is disgusting but a vulgar and stupid thing young guys say, I had a lot of guys talk that way about me because they considered me "innocent" and liked to talk that way about me in that degrading sense. It makes them stupid and disgusting, not rapist.
I mean I agree with you that the girl must feel terrible, I do feel very violated when I dissociated and sexual stuff was done to me. I do feel abused, but feeling abused doesn't mean the guy is automatically a rapist and abuser. I can feel whatever I want but I cant blame those guys. The guy couldn't possibly know I checked out mentally, I was just in another mindspace, I start dissociating during sexual stuff because I haven't healed from my sexual trauma from childhood. But it's not fair that I call those guys rapists, they probably didn't know because I never told them to stop.
I completely agree that reading body language and picking up on cues should be taught to men, if your partner is behaving strangely during some sexual stuff you both are indulging in, you should stop and ask her if she's okay. But just because they didn't ask, do I have the right to say they raped me? It makes them selfish douches and that's the reason I'm not dating any of them anymore but I can't just call them a rapist because that's very unfair and invalidating to actual victims
This happened in 2014, Ansel is 1994 born so it made him 20 when this happened.
And she was a virgin, I cried too when I lost my virginity from pain, doesn't mean I didn't want to do it. She never expressed that she wanted him to stop, he can't read minds. Yes he was insensitive and a jerk for not asking her if she's okay when she started to cry, but it doesn't mean he's a pedophile rapist. It just invalidates real victim of sexual abuse when people say this is rape.
I'm always going to choose to believe that a woman or man is telling the truth because I know how hard it is to talk about, unless the rapist has a strong alibi or something. From what the girl said in her tweet, he sounded like a total creep lol. And from what I've been hearing from him as of late, he's been a little weird. At the end of the day, he knew what he was doing. He used his status to make sure she kept quiet, and that's already red flag #1. Regardless if she's 17 and "wanted it," she legally is not able to consent, unless she lives in a state where 17 is the age of consent and had sex within that state where she can give consent. He's technically the adult in the situation, even if he's only 3 years older. So if that's what took place, we have to call it like it is - rape. Plus, sometimes a person doesn't know how to say "no." That's why you have to look at the whole picture - verbal and nonverbal body language. Check in with them if you have to and ask if it's still ok. And a person can change their mind last minute whether or not the other person likes it or not. She says she mentally checked out, so I mean.. would you still have sex with someone who isn't even mentally there? I think you have to be a selfish lover to not see that there's something wrong.
With all that said, I do believe that people are innocent until proven guilty. I don't think we should be cancelling him based off of allegations. Rape is such a tough subject because if they don't have proof, it basically boils down to who has the better lawyer at this point now that it's been so long.
[–]CertainCrow1 2 points3 points4 points (26 children) | Copy Link
[+]Tangerine-Due0 points [recovered] (19 children) | Copy Link
The problem is with her saying she was crying so he should've stopped. How was he supposed to read her mind? It was her first time, he could've been confused that she's crying because she's losing her virginity not because she wants him to stop. Everywhere he is being called a rapist and pedo despite only being 3 years older than her, even for pedophilia criteria you need to be 5 years older to be called a pedophile
[–]CertainCrow1 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[+]Tangerine-Due1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
He's being called a pedo and rapist
[–]CertainCrow1 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Bananadine999 0 points1 point2 points (15 children) | Copy Link
[+]Tangerine-Due1 points [recovered] (14 children) | Copy Link
Sure, but does it make them a rapist and sexual abuser? Lots of girls cry when they lose their virginity, just because he didn't ask if she's okay doesn't mean he sexually assaulted her because he made the grave mistake of not checking up with her
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[+]Tangerine-Due1 points [recovered] (117 children) | Copy Link
She went to his place to have sex with him then she started crying, that can easily be confused with her crying from losing her virginity. Stop ruining men's careers just because you feel like it. It makes him a shitty partner but he was young himself and didn't pick up on her body language, that does NOT make him a rapist and pedophile
[–]LessMidRange 0 points1 point2 points (115 children) | Copy Link
[+]Tangerine-Due1 points [recovered] (114 children) | Copy Link
I'm a girl and I was raped myself as a child, yikes back at you, you sound like the groomer. Don't say shit without knowing the actual story. It was legal where it happened, in New York.
[–]LessMidRange 0 points1 point2 points (113 children) | Copy Link
[+]Tangerine-Due1 points [recovered] (112 children) | Copy Link
I don't have a crush on Ansel, look, I cried when I lost my virginity, so did many of the girls. I completely agree that he was a douche for not checking up on her or picking up on her body language but calling him a pedophile and rapist for that? That's so far, he could've been genuinely confused that shes crying from losing her virginity. I know my boyfriend got confused when I had sex with him and cried, Ansel didn't care and that makes him a horrible person, and that a very bad sexual experience. But calling this pedophilia is very far and actually super insensitive and invalidating to victims of pedophilia like me.
[–]LessMidRange 0 points1 point2 points (111 children) | Copy Link
[+]Tangerine-Due1 points [recovered] (110 children) | Copy Link
She never asked him to stop, she said she dissociated. I can understand what she means because I dissociate during sexual stuff too. I have had many scenarios when guys did stuff to me and I dissociated - do I call those guys rapists? No. I understand that they couldn't possibly know I was dissociating.
And saying he needs to break her in is disgusting but a vulgar and stupid thing young guys say, I had a lot of guys talk that way about me because they considered me "innocent" and liked to talk that way about me in that degrading sense. It makes them stupid and disgusting, not rapist.
[–]LessMidRange 0 points1 point2 points (109 children) | Copy Link
[+]Tangerine-Due1 points [recovered] (108 children) | Copy Link
I mean I agree with you that the girl must feel terrible, I do feel very violated when I dissociated and sexual stuff was done to me. I do feel abused, but feeling abused doesn't mean the guy is automatically a rapist and abuser. I can feel whatever I want but I cant blame those guys. The guy couldn't possibly know I checked out mentally, I was just in another mindspace, I start dissociating during sexual stuff because I haven't healed from my sexual trauma from childhood. But it's not fair that I call those guys rapists, they probably didn't know because I never told them to stop.
I completely agree that reading body language and picking up on cues should be taught to men, if your partner is behaving strangely during some sexual stuff you both are indulging in, you should stop and ask her if she's okay. But just because they didn't ask, do I have the right to say they raped me? It makes them selfish douches and that's the reason I'm not dating any of them anymore but I can't just call them a rapist because that's very unfair and invalidating to actual victims
[–]surf526 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Chief_Beef_BC 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[+]Tangerine-Due1 points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
He was 20 not 21
[–]Chief_Beef_BC 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[+]Tangerine-Due1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
This happened in 2014, Ansel is 1994 born so it made him 20 when this happened.
And she was a virgin, I cried too when I lost my virginity from pain, doesn't mean I didn't want to do it. She never expressed that she wanted him to stop, he can't read minds. Yes he was insensitive and a jerk for not asking her if she's okay when she started to cry, but it doesn't mean he's a pedophile rapist. It just invalidates real victim of sexual abuse when people say this is rape.
[–]Chief_Beef_BC 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[+]poopmaloop1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm always going to choose to believe that a woman or man is telling the truth because I know how hard it is to talk about, unless the rapist has a strong alibi or something. From what the girl said in her tweet, he sounded like a total creep lol. And from what I've been hearing from him as of late, he's been a little weird. At the end of the day, he knew what he was doing. He used his status to make sure she kept quiet, and that's already red flag #1. Regardless if she's 17 and "wanted it," she legally is not able to consent, unless she lives in a state where 17 is the age of consent and had sex within that state where she can give consent. He's technically the adult in the situation, even if he's only 3 years older. So if that's what took place, we have to call it like it is - rape. Plus, sometimes a person doesn't know how to say "no." That's why you have to look at the whole picture - verbal and nonverbal body language. Check in with them if you have to and ask if it's still ok. And a person can change their mind last minute whether or not the other person likes it or not. She says she mentally checked out, so I mean.. would you still have sex with someone who isn't even mentally there? I think you have to be a selfish lover to not see that there's something wrong.
With all that said, I do believe that people are innocent until proven guilty. I don't think we should be cancelling him based off of allegations. Rape is such a tough subject because if they don't have proof, it basically boils down to who has the better lawyer at this point now that it's been so long.