I have been lurking on rpw for a few months now. I just wanted to introduce myself and tell a little about my experience with surrendering. I'm a little worried the community is going to be harsh about my story, but if this is not considered rpw enough, I will take it down.

I have been in a relationship with SO for a little over a year and a half. The first 6-8 months were awesome ( just like any relationship)then he moved in and things started going downhill.

I have a lot of the same issues that many of you ladies are dealing with, and would consider myself a semi-reformed shrew. When he moved in, merging our stuff turned into control-a-palooza. He ended up letting go of many of his possessions just to keep the peace, and I feel really terrible about that now.

We went on a vacation with family and that was my wake up call. I was such a critical b. He couldn't drive correctly. He was parenting his daughter incorrectly. They were taking advantage of my family's hospitality. I just reached a breaking point after the trip and after a lot of tears and self-examination realized I was the problem.

I was super skeptical of rpw when I first started reading, but quickly realized, this wasn't self-imposed oppression. This was being a less shitty person.

I began to stfu whenever I could manage. I started taking better care of myself and our house. SO and I have always been really easily compatible. He is very laid back and will usually laugh off my attempts at control. I started telling him daily how awesome he is and how much I appreciate all of the things he does. We both have full time jobs with similar salaries and need both to make ends meet.

He is so much happier. We have always been goofy with each other but he is so much more relaxed without my constant nagging. The other day we went to lunch when I happened to have a day off and he texted me how enjoyable our time was together and how he didn't want to go to work.

I obviously screw up a lot. And am still struggling with control and to stfu. But the difference it's made in my happiness level and his are both remarkable. I have long suffered from severe anxiety and a combination of letting go and deleting Facebook have lowered that anxiety level enormously

The catalyst for me actually posting this today was that I woke up in the middle of the night very ill with a stomach bug/fever of some sort. I was in and out of bed the rest of the night. In the past I would have angrily trudged to the pharmacy to get medicine etc (having to do everything myself) Instead when SO woke up he asked me what was happening and I told him how ill I felt. Without any prompting from me he went and got me soup, Gatorade and medicine. I squeezed him tight and told him what a wonderful man he is.

I'm learning that he wants to be my hero, and he's awesome at it. I just have to let go and let him.