I’ve been thinking lately about what it means to be a feminist parent. I don’t mean the “what” of it (what messages we give our children, consciously and unconsciously, what we do to teach them feminist values), I mean the HOW of it.
It occurs to me that our current (not in every country, there is at least one notable cultural exception, but in most, including where I live in the US) most accepted methods of parenting are entirely top down hierarchy, the basic patriarchal model: “what I say goes,” “compete to win”, “power over, not power within.”
The alternate way of parenting, collaborative or positive parenting, is seen as a fringe approach. It is working with children with an emphasis on safety and collaboration, and teaching them/modeling good communication skills and conflict resolution. There’s a lot more to it that deviates from the norm, but bottom line, the focus in the relationship is shifted to power within rather than power over. I’ve been parenting using a collaborative model since my kids were born, and they’re now 12 and 14. When I try to discuss it with other parents who are otherwise feminist, they look at me like I’m speaking another language.
So I’m posing the question here. Is this something you see as relevant to the feminist discussion, not just what we teach and value, but the actual method by which we raise our children?
there doesn't seem to be anything here