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this man found out that his wife looks at hentai of little boys and nobody's helping him. imagine if the rolls where reversed

weedislif

September 12, 2019

56 upvotes

/r/MensRights

I found some disturbing porn on my (29f) wife's computer.

198 points•170 comments•submitted 1 year ago by throwawyhelpvnz to r/relationship_advice

so around a week ago my laptop decided to die so I've had to use my wife's untill we can get a new one.

last night I went on it and was going to look up something when I noticed a couple of links that had come up as I was looking up something. for some reason some porn came up, I know I should of left it alone but curiosity got the better of me so I clicked on it and was incredibly shocked to find out that its hentai that involved a little boy naked. it was a older woman and a little boy doing some extremely inappropriate things. I only got through 3 pages before exiting out.

I went to sleep and didn't speak to my wife about it as I was still trying to process.

my wife is currently at work while I type this and I really want to know what to do as I have not spoken to her.

we have had the children talk but we do not have any kids. I am 30m

if I have missed anything I can answer it.

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Post Information

Title	this man found out that his wife looks at hentai of little boys and nobody's helping him. imagine if the rolls where reversed
Author	weedislif
Upvotes	56
Comments	18
Date	September 12, 2019 12:08 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/d2zjls/this_man_found_out_that_his_wife_looks_at_hentai/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/this-man-found-out-that-his-wife-looks-at-hentai.869313 https://theredarchive.com/post/869313

Comments

[–]goodmod[M] [score hidden] 6 years ago stickied comment (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]1LegendaryWombat 13 points14 points15 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]chillpilldude 9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]plasticman1997 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lethn 12 points13 points14 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Sorry but they aren't, now if she were trying to look at actual child porn yes, but getting all uppity over a fucking cartoon is retarded. I put people getting upset over shit like Shota and Loli hentai ( that's what they're going on about by the way ) on the same level as Muslims getting angry over somebody drawing Mohammed and making fun of it.

By all means, you can call it creepy all you want and discuss the morality of it, but don't sit there lecturing me if you're the type of person to go apeshit and claim people should have the right to draw Mohammed then demand hentai get banned. Yes, this is a hill I will die on, the reason? I'm an indie games developer and I draw and I simply refuse to be told what I can and can't depict by the fucking state let alone an ignorant mob who thinks that a fucking cartoon is reality.

I can also go into the statistics of how accessibility to porn is actually reducing sexual assault and rape rates if you like.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Lethn 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]DJ-Roukan 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link

[+]HalpMeImDyingInside1 points 6 years ago [recovered] (16 children) | Copy Link

Is it wrong, yeah. But punishing someone for it is like killing off a character in a story then charging them for murder. At the end of the day it’s not real and as long as they aren’t looking at actual child porn or molesting or raping children we shouldn’t have a problem here.

[–]DJ-Roukan 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago* (15 children) | Copy Link

[–]CancerousGrowth1 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

It has far less to do with drawn or real then it does the mind of the person enjoying it.

What's wrong with enjoying anything, as long as it doesn't hurt other people? It's not like you're enjoying real-life gore or rape or something like that.

Fapping to lolis/shotas has no repercussions on the real world. It doesn't harm anybody, it doesn't infringe on anybody's freedoms or rights, it's not disrespectful towards anybody, it doesn't violate anybody's bodily rights. Watching real child porn does - because there are real people involved in the crime, and there's the question of privacy and respect to the victim.

If you enjoy killing people in a video game, is it a sign of a twisted mind? Does it mean you're a soon-to-be school shooter that just craves blood? Killing people is presumably worse than raping them, and we do it all the time virtually. Do people need help if they play violent video games? Should anybody be expected to tolerate a person that plays violent video games?

[–]DJ-Roukan 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]CancerousGrowth1 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago* (10 children) | Copy Link

Would you let her near your son, let her baby sit him overnight?

That is irrelevant of whether what she did was immoral or if there's something wrong with her. If you're asking whether such a decision is reasonable - probably not. But there's a ton of people I wouldn't let to babysit my children.

Being sexually arouse by naked little boys is something that requires therapy

She isn't exactly sexually aroused by naked little boys. She is sexually aroused by drawn naked little boys. Drawn shotas differ considerably from little boys. It's kind of like anime girls don't look anything like real women. It's just a different thing. Anime girls aren't "women" per ce, they aren't even human, you know. Humans have noses, they don't have disproportionately big heads and eyes, etc etc. Same with drawn shotas - it's not exactly the same as being attracted to a real little boy. I would agree that it would be creepy if she watched real child porn, but it's just simply not the case. The artstyle and the making process are considerably different between those two.

Besides - why would it require therapy? Why would she need therapy if she is ok with her preferences, and she doesn't hurt anybody? If her husband doesn't like it, he's free to not peek on her porn. And what porn people watch isn't really the business of society.

and can you prove conclusively that it will not eventually expand out to real boys?

Why would I need to prove that? Do you have any reasons to think that it will?

I mean there is currently a small epidemic of grown women raping boys.

I don't see what this woman has to do with that, if it were true.

There was even one where a teacher was taking pictures of little boys that she stripped and was sending them out to other women in text.

That is immoral, and has nothing to do with watching shotacon.

There is nothing normal or acceptable about adults lusting sexually over little boys and girls.

It really depends. It doesn't have to be "normal", there's plenty of things that aren't normal that are ok. So the normality of the situation is irrelevant.

Is it acceptable though? Yes, it is. There's nothing wrong with "lusting" against even real boys and girls. It's the act that is immoral, not your emotions about it. The emotions don't matter, they're you're personal thing, your personal experience. What matters is whether you act in a way that decreases well-being, freedom, bodily rights or disrespects people. That's what morality is traditionally conceived to be about. It doesn't concern itself with thoughts and emotions that people have, and frankly, it shouldn't, because that is people's personal business. What do you think gives you the right to say which emotion is acceptable or unacceptable? That is practically thought police.

But again, the whole point from the beginning is that it's not her lusting over real boys and girls, it's her lusting over virtual boys and girls that are drawn in a considerably different manner from their real-life counterparts. Which is a different issue.

This woman needs help, not validation, and her husband needs to intercede, or move on.

Help for/from what? She enjoys modern porn. Hentai is beautiful and there's no reason why people shouldn't fap to it. They should also explore any kinds of hentai they want, whether it's fucking vore, shota/lolicon, scat, prolapse milking, whatever. It's all thought up and there's no reason why you should deny yourself the pleasure. What you're saying right now is that people shouldn't listen to death metal, because it has bad lyrics and it can have bad influence on people. Or that people shouldn't play videogames, because why wouldn't they go and kill somebody in real life after that?

There's no reason to think that death metal makes you eat babies.
There's no reason to think violent videogames make you kill people.
There's no reason to think that perverse porn will make you want to do it in real life.

This is just the same argument, again and again. It's like an ideology against pleasure that some people have. Really shocking.

[–]DJ-Roukan 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

That is irrelevant of whether what she did was immoral or if there's something wrong with her. If you're asking whether such a decision is reasonable - probably not. But there's a ton of people I wouldn't let to babysit my children.

No, that is a cop out. Would you let her babysit your prepubescent son overnight? Answer the question.

Everything else you've stated is just blather trying to defend an indefensible argument. Kiddie porn is different than everything you've stated that may happen between consenting ADULTS, and you've wasted a great deal or writing.

...and your death metal argument is fallacy, as none of that is a viable comparison, but a red herring. pedophilia is a condition, not a legal preference in music...and yes, violence normalization, through video games and TV does lead to desensitization, just as you are desensitized to this issue. Goalpost do not move on this, and all the new age, flowery arguments do not hold water.

She gets off on little boys. She has a problem She requires deep counseling so as to expose the impetus of this situation and seek resolve. Period.

[–]CancerousGrowth1 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago* (8 children) | Copy Link

No, that is a cop out. Would you let her babysit your prepubescent son overnight? Answer the question.

No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't let a lot of people babysit my children.
Would you let somebody who drinks their own urine babysit your children? I wouldn't.
I wouldn't let anybody remotely suspicious to babysit my children. It doesn't mean that drinking you own urine is immoral, or that people who do that need help, and it is not even relevant to children that much.

Kiddie porn is different than everything you've stated that may happen between consenting ADULTS, and you've wasted a great deal or writing.

There's a difference between real "kiddie porn" and drawn "kiddie porn". They are fundamentally different. You are dishonestly conflating the two. Recording real life "kiddie porn" requires you to rape a child, or to participate as an accomplice in such a crime. Watching real life "kiddie porn" is disrespectful to the victim, and is a gross indifference to their privacy. Drawing "kiddie porn" doesn't require you to harm or rape anybody, or participate as an accomplice in any crime. It is an act of artistic freedom. Watching "kiddie porn" isn't immoral, because there's no victim in it. You aren't harming anybody, you aren't disrespecting the victim because the victim doesn't exist. Do you see this difference? You really need to draw it, if you want to participate in this discussion seriously. Because there is considerable difference between those things, and conflating them is utterly dishonest. Drawn kiddie porn does happen between consenting adults - a consenting adult draws it, and a consenting adult watches it. A relationship that isn't immoral or wrong in any way.

pedophilia is a condition, not a legal preference in music

That is irrelevant. My point is that if you're making the argument that drawn kiddie porn will lead one to raping children, you're wrong. There's no reason to think it will - the same way there's no reason to think that listening to death metal will make you sacrifice animals, or that videogames will make you kill other people. There's just no reason to think that way.

She gets off on little boys. She has a problem She requires deep counseling so as to expose the impetus of this situation and seek resolve. Period.

I am not exactly sure on what your argument is. I can see several arguments you can make here:
Drawing child porn is immoral and wrong.
Watching drawn* child porn is immoral and wrong.
Watching drawn* child porn will make you rape children.
Watching drawn* child porn makes you a pedophile.

Now, I've shown that it isn't immoral to draw child porn - it is an expression of your artistic freedom, you have a full right to do it, and there's no evidence that it hurts anybody's well-being, freedom, bodily autonomy or dignity. I've shown that fapping to drawn child porn isn't immoral, because there's no real children involved into it. So it's a morally neutral action. So you cannot be wrong or immoral when it comes to it.
I've shown that if you think that watching child porn will make you rape children, there's no reason to think that way. Some people think that listening to death metal corrupts your soul and makes you a satanist. Some people think that violent videogames make you kill people. All of those claims have no foundation underneath them. If you think otherwise, you are free to provide evidence for it.
Now, if you think that watching porn makes you a pedophile, you're wrong, and I have shown that as well. First of all, you don't know whether she is a pedophile or not, but that depends on your definition of pedophilia. Clinically, if I'm not mistaken, pedophilia is defined as feeling sexual drive exclusively to people under 13. In other words, if you feel sexual drive for an 8 year old child, and then you feel sexual drive for a grown person, you're not a pedophile clinically. So you wouldn't even be diagnosed with pedophilia. Now, if you define pedophilia colloquially as any sort of drive towards children, that's fine. But that is not immoral, either - feeling a sexual drive towards children doesn't hurt anybody. Feeling an emotion doesn't hurt anybody's well-being, freedom, bodily autonomy or dignity. It's completely ok. In fact, you've provided no evidence for why something like that would be immoral.

Edit: * - added the word "drawn".

[–]DJ-Roukan 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Now, I've shown that it isn't immoral to draw child porn

No, you are supporting pedophilia, and if that is the case you are as fucked in the head as the last guy.

I said nothing about "morals". That is your putting words into my mouth, trying to straw man me. i said nothing except that the women in question has serious issues if she is getting off on naked little boys.

Now you can write all you want. If she's looking at child porn, she is already there. This is not cause and effect. The porn is not making her want little boys. That is yet another straw man. She is feeding a desire that already exists...and it is growing exponentially, or finally being reported.

We see it routinely on the men's board now as it's being reported.

https://www.reddit.com/r/sadcringe/comments/d4p98g/imagine_being_so_lonely_that_11year_olds_dont/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

Stop yammering. Wake up, guy.

[–]FiddleBeJangles -3 points-2 points-1 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]DJ-Roukan 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link