Is the 'Man up' message costing men their lives?

FemaleIsEasyMode · 2019-07-30T11:49:29+00:00

Let's see, most counsellors are female, and a guy doesn't feel right airing his issues to a female. Almost like how a woman is intimidated to speak up in front of a group of male colleagues and getting judged. Guys know what a guy is going through, a female counsellor doesn't understand a man's particular issues. I know my work has a list of counsellors to talk to if you have issues but they are all female counsellors. So year after year, there is another suicide. Maybe it's time to push for more male counsellors to deal with male mental health issues.

Lethn · 2019-07-30T16:13:09+00:00

No, feminists constantly blocking attempts to make men's issues heard and attacking activists who openly talk about men's issues is costing men their lives. This article confirms it, a quick glance through and it's the exact same language we're seeing from people who talk like feminists who are pushing a rebranded version of toxic masculinity, they will never accept that feminists are responsible for a lot of the problems men face.

Men are always told they are the problem, men are told they are toxic and that they need to 'fix themselves' and it is always feminists who tell us all this, it is not 'other men' and they're fucking surprised that men are killing themselves so much when that is all they hear.

2019-07-30T18:53:44+00:00

The irony here is these men will be shamed for this.

2019-07-31T20:57:30+00:00

"Man up" is something that is usually said when someone ( a man OR woman) is trying to convince men to do something illogical and/or against their interests.

I wouldn't be surprised if this was contributing to suicide!

alrun · 2019-07-30T13:24:42+00:00

I think "man up costing lives" is an easy message to convey to other people - like the wage gap with 20% less per hour.

Easy to understand and flawed within. Man up is the message that you should keep trying, going. Stand up after you fell down. I know many men that got past a problem by doing stuff. By achieving - Problem at work, built a garden shed. Why would this solve something? It gives acoomplishment, shows you you can do something, it keeps you busy, combating somewhat depression (where movement, sports is one part).

We have little to no idea what happens inside people committing suicide and the article completely skips this problem. If you are lucky you get a farewell letter - young people will blame problems around them or themselves, while elderly people will just write a farewell without giving reasons, but you cannot file an interview with a dead person. Down so far that a person working for a telephone help line said, if a person is talking about killing themselves they want help - others won´t give away any hint and just disappear one day.

Meaning the understanding we have about suicide is formed by people "failing" to commit suicide - e.g. around times their spouse comes home, in a public place, using aspirin, ...

Man up has its advantages in life and there will be people taking this concept to extremes, but this does not invalidate the concept at all. The advertisement in the article shows a far better approach. Instead of telling men to speak, people need start to listen.

What’s the point of asking RU OK? when “men don’t talk”

Ask a man “R U OK?” and he might say: “Sure, just got a promotion; kids are doing great at school; I’m thinking of getting a new car and my team is having a great season”.

In other words, he’ll tell you what’s going on from the outside in. There’s nothing wrong with that it just doesn’t tell you in words, what’s going on from the inside out—which is what we’re really asking when we say “R U OK?”.

So when we say “men don’t talk” what we really mean is “men don’t talk” about what’s going on from the inside out.

Is that true? Well yes and no. Yesterday I was chatting with an Aboriginal men’s worker in WA about a suicide prevention project that had produced two DVDs, one for men and one for women.

The articles later gives examples in what environments men will start to talk from the inside out. The author claims that men will talk about themselves if they get the signals that it is appropriate - e.g. by sharing a personal story first.

Title	Is the 'Man up' message costing men their lives?
Author	JackFisherBooks
Upvotes	19
Comments	7
Date	July 30, 2019 10:21 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/cjprrn/is_the_man_up_message_costing_men_their_lives/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/is-the-man-up-message-costing-men-their-lives.872238 https://theredarchive.com/post/872238

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