r/MurderedByWords user is, as I think, fcked in the head on gender roles/expectations. Is this really* how people think? It's sincerely troubling that people could think this way.

goodmod · 2019-03-15T05:43:48+00:00

This thread has been removed because it links to OP's comments in another subreddit. This can be taken as an attempt to encourage brigading, which is against reddit rules and may result in shadowbans.

In instances such as this, a screenshot should be used instead of a direct link.

HeForeverBleeds · 2019-03-15T02:08:43+00:00

It has a point about the destructive behaviors enforced by traditional gender roles. Male disposability is perpetuated by traditional "ladies first" ideals as much as by feminist "males are privilege so they don't need any resources" ideals

feeling obliged to pursue work and a career at the expense of time spent with family

Not just at the expense of family time, but also at the expense of personal well-being. Too often men are expected to be packhorses for their family, or personal ATM's that's value runs out as soon as he's no longer bringing in enough money. Hence why it's only men expected to be in dangerous or even life-threatening jobs

the obligation to be sexually aggressive, maintaining an appearance of sexual desire even when no such desire exists

Men are put in a catch-22 where it comes to male sexuality: if they're sexually aggressive, then they're at risk of being perceived as predators, creeps, abusive, or at best fuckboys and womanizers. And yet if they're not as sexually inclined, then they're shamed for being virgins or not getting enough. It extends into sexual violence, where a man who's raped or sexually harassed by a woman is shamed for "complaining" about getting sexual attention from a woman, because of the idea that a man should always be willing

The main issue I have is with his examples of destructive behaviors enforced by female gender roles

Constant self-sacrifice for the benefit of others

This doesn't seem to be the case whatsoever. The only people who women are expected to sacrifice themselves for is their children. Men are the ones expected to sacrifice themselves for women, children, and the greater good of society over all (e.g. selective service)

The others aren't necessarily wrong, but they only focus on behaviors that are self-destructive, as if any negative aspects of female gender roles only hurt the women themselves. However there are behaviors destructive towards others that are byproducts of traditional femininity. For example:

women playing the victim: a destructive behavior that hurts others and is perpetuated by the idea (both traditionalist and feminist) that the woman is always the innocent victim
gold digging: women objectifying men as ATM's is a destructive behavior that hurt others and is perpetuated by traditional gender roles
pretending to be weak or frail to get out of tough work or to get away with bad behavior are destructive behaviors that hurt others and are perpetuated by traditional views of women being frail, weak, incapable of doing wrong

2019-03-15T02:10:03+00:00

It was never specified who engages in such enforcement, just make the assumption anyone can do it and move on. If you're going to point out things like that at least do it in an appropriate manner because half of what you said comes down to but it's actually women, that's not what they're commenting about.

Title	r/MurderedByWords user is, as I think, fcked in the head on gender roles/expectations. Is this really* how people think? It's sincerely troubling that people could think this way.
Author	AiroDewitt
Upvotes	0
Comments	3
Date	March 15, 2019 12:39 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/b188sc/rmurderedbywords_user_is_as_i_think_fcked_in_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/rmurderedbywords-user-is-as-i-think-fcked-in-the.881657 https://theredarchive.com/post/881657

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