Crosspost "The Strong Female Character" from /r/writing:

I've always avoided female characters in books and media. I generally found them annoying and un-relatable, but I couldn't put my finger on why. As a woman, this was disturbing to me, I felt like I had thinly veiled self-hatred or something. It was only recently that I realized what the problem was.

There was this scene. In the scene two hitmen (hitpeople?) were fighting each other. One was a man, the other a woman. Now in the story they were of equal training and skill but the woman was like 5'6 and definitely over a hundred pounds less the 6'5 man she was fighting. She won of course, this sort of bad-ass woman trope isn't uncommon. There is also a commonly ignored criticism that this sort of thing is unrealistic. People say things like 'These characters are fighting aliens and you're concerned that the strength of the woman is unrealistic'.

Now I have nothing against a woman being an unrealistically good fighter every once and a while but I honestly feel like this trope is kind of problematic. As a woman who grew up in a violent environment I can tell you that women are physically much weaker than men. In a real physical fight, in almost every case, the man will win. But that doesn't mean women are weak.

When we write strong female characters as physically strong characters I feel like it undermines what it means to be a strong woman in the real world. It's the reason no one understands why when a woman is being assaulted she often doesn't fight the assailant or tries to talk them down kindly.

A strength disadvantage is an inherent part of what it means to be a woman. It is the most important difference between men and women. It's why we can't walk around alone at night or travel unaccompanied or let loose at a party. But that doesn't mean that woman are weak. It just means that their strength is different. It's keeping a cool head in a dangerous situation, it's planning ahead, it's strategy, and it's things like emotional intelligence, keeping order, anticipating problems, determination, perseverance.

I don't understand why as soon as we move from realistic fiction to any layer of scifi or fantasy woman inexplicable become just as strong as men (I'm not talking about enhanced super-characters like Ms. Marvel or something). I just wish there could be more of a focus on the soft power of strong female characters because I feel like these things should be more glorified and appreciated in literature.

TLDR: When people write strong female characters while ignoring the most fundamental part of what it means to be a woman, are they really even writing a strong female character?

Posted by enedara | 5 March 2019 | Link