Not sure where to turn. Post break up advice

Casual_OCD · 2018-05-08T14:41:22+00:00

You need to do something constructive with your life and time now. By the way you describe your situation, I'd go experience things you weren't able to (or allowed to) while in your relationship. It'll help the healing process, having fun doing something that was restricted to you.

Also, coming on a subreddit like this, claiming to have misogynistic thoughts and views now (especially through a breakup) and looking for advice? I had to look through your post history because I initially thought you were trying to bait here.

Lemongrass29 · 2018-05-08T14:14:41+00:00

Take time for yourself. It's possible to get out and not socialize. Go to a park analyze yourself. Analyze the relationship. What went wrong? How was I treating her? How did she treat me? Did I respect her? Did she? Did anyone take advantage of the other? Were there things you could have done differently? Or said different? I'm not saying sit there and stew but some self reflection helps cope with that rage

Zack620 · 2018-05-08T15:27:40+00:00

Welllp like others have said, find a way to distract yourself, and at the risk of sounding cliched do stuff you weren't doing before, go on late night rides, clubbing, skydiving, pickup a book, gym literally anything you can and want to

Also, get a vent, in the sense, talk to someone whom you trust preferably someone whom you know well, otherwise if worst comes to worst and you don't have a lot of friends/ don't trust someone, go on Omegle or some other site and just vent it out. I myself had a lot of support from my friends when I went through (admittedly a pretty normal breakup but I was still a mess), and honestly just them being there for me was a good enough reason to laugh and do stupid stuff together, so my advice, socialise more.

Lastly, pickup a hobby, and think about becoming a better man for yourself rather than for others, there's a lot you can do and a lot TO be done, but honestly after all's said and done, you have to be the one to pull yourself out of that hole, nobody else's gonna do that FOR you.

EnlargedPhallus · 2018-05-08T15:02:33+00:00

Remember that women are people too. Some of them suck. Some are great. Some are meh. Focus your anger on the one who hurt you. Then forgive them when you can. Walking around with that kind of hate in your heart is only bad for you. After you have forgiven her in your heart forgive yourself.

Aelonius · 2018-05-08T21:20:48+00:00

I've been in a situation years ago with this girl, long distance for 1,5 years and eventually she decides to kick me in the bollocks emotionally by practically walking away when she got over her ex and didn't need me anymore. Took me a few weeks to let that slide, but in hindsight I used it as a learning opportunity and I know what I look for in a person much better now.

In the end, it sucks man. But the only person that will change your perception is you. Give it some time to let it cool and then just hang with female friends, get slowly into dating again. Do not set a mountain of expectations and/or requirements but just roll with it. In worst case, things do not work with the girl(s) and you move forward knowing you did your best. In the best case you end up finding someone you genuinely like.

EnlargedPhallus · 2018-05-08T19:42:53+00:00

both her and her mother were just so fucking cuntlike to me at the end I am having a hard time not passing that hate onto females displaying shitty behaviour in my day to day.

not all women act horribly. Being mad at someone who isn't there is totally reasonable. But taking it out on people who have nothing to do with it is not reasonable.

Go to a gym, punch a punching bag. Write a letter to your ex telling her what a cunt she is. But those other women didn't do anything to you. They might even be worth talking to, who knows.

Niggasaki123 · 2018-05-08T23:53:03+00:00

Hey, im so sorry this happened. It happened to me too. I was in a toxic relationship for 2 years, her family and friends were all cunts to me as well. Finding your footing after such a toxic relationship takes time. But i made it amd you will too. Im currently in a 7 year relationship and ive never been happier. Give yourself some time to be angry. Going to the gym helps, after a while do some reflection and just learn positives. You cant change the world only yourself, keep improve and you will find a worthwhile woman. Life is too short to be bitter and resentful. In fact its a painful existence to be so bitter and resentful. Find your path to happiness my friend. Good luck

EnlargedPhallus · 2018-05-09T02:58:12+00:00

Can I just say a huge thank you to everyone who commented and replied on this post. It really does mean alot to see so many strangers who are willing to stop by for a minute to share some stories/advice. Today has been a far more positive day than the rest. Much love to all of you

2018-05-09T07:04:06+00:00

Find an outlet, a hobby of some kind. I think we've all been there. I just broke off a 3 year relationship less than a month ago, so I've taken up hiking in my free time. Take time for yourself, and even if you aren't ready to throw yourself back out into the dating pool, try to make some female friends, so you can prove to yourself that not all women are awful.

2018-05-10T13:39:40+00:00

Like others have said, take some time for yourself. One thing I did in a similar situation years ago was to formulate in my mind the exact kind of woman I wanted/needed. Make a list.

Lots of women will come and go and do not latch on to anyone who doesn’t match your list. Be very strict and diligent.

When I met the woman who is now my wife, I knew she was the one for me. Of course it took time but she was it. I could not possibly be happier today. There is hope and just remember that while you had a bad experience, it’s only a temporary pain. Use this to learn about yourself and find someone else.

Another thing: I wouldn’t necessarily go out and actively find a replacement. Work on yourself. Get in shape. Get smarter. Get more competent. Take on more responsibility. In doing this you will be more attractive to females and from a position of strength you can be more selective.

BlackSheepwNoSoul · 2018-05-10T14:19:21+00:00

Brooo, im so jaded by women myself, i keep experiencing the same shitty behavior person after person, they cause a lot of drama, they are flakey, they rarely consider your feelings, and overall they need their hand held when doing so many things. Now im not saying all women are incompetent, in-fact i think a lot of humans in general just suck, but my experiences with women lately has been that they are just a pain to deal with, and i would for the most part rather not bother. I'm still looking to find a gem, once in awhile i find a decent human being, but i feel you on this post a little bit at least.

DarwinianKEKistani · 2018-05-09T17:00:47+00:00

/r/TheRedPill and /r/mrp when you're ready

EnlargedPhallus · 2018-05-08T15:41:42+00:00

In a sub that normally panders to beating the shit out of any and all women despite being about pussypasses being denied, I'm pleasantly surprised with the advice available. All is not lost.

StupidDebate · 2018-05-09T01:52:59+00:00

Buy a mountain bike

brad_stodden · 2018-05-09T01:40:44+00:00

Suck a dick and see if you’ve turned to the other side maybe??

Title	Not sure where to turn. Post break up advice
Author	EnlargedPhallus
Upvotes	22
Comments	35
Date	May 8, 2018 1:42 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PussyPassDenied
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/pussypassdenied/comments/8hwrub/not_sure_where_to_turn_post_break_up_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PussyPassDenied/not-sure-where-to-turn-post-break-up-advice.901598 https://theredarchive.com/post/901598

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