Cosmo: 8 Reasons Why You Should Rethink Your Stance on Cheating. (Esther Perel)

JebberJabber · 2017-12-16T19:49:38+00:00

We already have a thread to discuss Cosmo's title and picture, so this thread is for people who like to read the words in articles before discussing them (the article is linked).

I don't know how much this is relevant to MensRights but if it is going to be here it might as well be done right.

Esther Perel is a family systems psychotherapist who explored freedom vs security in Mating in Captivity and is an expert on infidelity.

Here's her TED talk on the subject. https://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_rethinking_infidelity_a_talk_for_anyone_who_has_ever_loved

SinglePastryChefLife · 2017-12-20T10:56:15+00:00

I think she raises a lot of valid points, but it's nothing most people didn't already know?

Ok, yes you probably shouldn't judge people too harshly about cheating, especially if you weren't at all involved in the scenario. But it's also a method of self preservation. a person who would sneak around and hide things from their spouse and betray them, why on earth would you expect them to be loyal to you, their friend or acquaintance?

The part about a cheater trying to find a lost part of themselves or trying to reconnect with who they really are. Made no sense to me? How is getting emotionally and physically entangled with someone else going to help you find who you are?

If you want to see what you're capable off, pack a backpack and go on a solo hike for the weekend. Travel a foreign country solo for a week, see how you deal with challenges, find out what you're really like when you're on your own with no one to influence you. Or even just spend time completely alone with your thoughts and doing whatever you want to do, see how well you deal with your true self.

Fucking someone, destroying your relationship and family life seems very extreme for someone just trying to find themselves.

From my experience, when talking to cheaters, most of what could have stopped them from straying was to have an honest and frank conversation with their partner. Talk about what's lacking, their fears, insecurities and how under appreciated they feel. Just a deep emotional conversation with the person they chose to spend their life with.

Once they cheat, all trust and decency is long gone. You might as well toss the relationship in the trash and start over, learning from that experience.

Title	Cosmo: 8 Reasons Why You Should Rethink Your Stance on Cheating. (Esther Perel)
Author	JebberJabber
Upvotes	3
Comments	2
Date	December 16, 2017 6:57 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/7k8ruk/cosmo_8_reasons_why_you_should_rethink_your/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/cosmo-8-reasons-why-you-should-rethink-your-stance.909256 https://theredarchive.com/post/909256

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