The lost boys: We mothers think they're tougher than girls - but growing evidence suggests neglecting our sons' emotions scars them for life - Daily Mail

2017-07-04T17:02:59+00:00

I'm a very emotional man. As is my dad.

The difference is neither of us show it to everyone. In public there is a happy or stoic face that goes up because nobody wants to talk with or be around a sad man

2017-07-04T16:49:09+00:00

Would you like to have your self-pity indulged, your failures excused, your emotions conceded to, more than they are? Yes please, and I'd like my salary doubled too and my working hours halved. What's not to like about this emotional get rich quick scheme, this emotional perpetual motion machine?

Feminists have been selling boys this emotional get rich quick scheme since the 1970's that they should blab about their emotions and expect to have them indulged as if they were girls. Boys over those decades who've taken the feminists up on their promises have had to find out the hard way that Grandpa was stoic and brought up Dad to be stoic not because he was cruel and stupid, but because, unlike Free to be You and Me, it was a realistic, robust mindset that had passed the test of hard times.

Of course, like with get rich quick schemes, if you don't get rich it's because your bad attitude and negative thinking jinxed the system. When men express their emotions, they have to make sure they're appropriate emotions expressed appropriately.

double-happiness · 2017-07-04T22:47:35+00:00

One boys’ champion, Uanu Seshmi, who runs the charity From Boyhood To Manhood Foundation and has advised the government on gun and knife crime, believes boys’ interests have been squeezed out in the rush to right historic injustices against women.

I see his foundation nearly closed after 11 years, due to lack of funding. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7112778.stm

...the perceived value of boys has plummeted as manual jobs have disappeared to be replaced in a knowledge-based economy by roles which require ‘soft skills’ of empathy and communication — skills at which women excel.

Chiefly empathy for, and communication with, each other, I'm minded to say.

2017-07-04T23:23:38+00:00

I wish you were that generous. Not only were their emotions ignored, you continuously throw your achievements in their face and brag about how they are nothing compared to girls. "Girls are the future", "Support girls", yadda yadda yadda. While lecturing them about how to treat girls only with self-respect and checking their white male privilege.

So no shit they're getting scarred for life.

mymraccount_ac · 2017-07-05T01:30:44+00:00

This seems self evident to me. Of course men are scarred emotionally by a tougher upbringing. All of us, men and women alike, buy into the idea that men are (and need) to be tougher, and so they are treated as such. It is a gender norm. And it's make or break, you either grow into a man that can carry your scars or you become another disposable loser, a manchild that no-one cares about. The pressure is all around us, even on reddit's so called progressive subs. All the terms we see thrown about - alpha, beta, neckbeard, creep, they're all just modern slurs to make men conform to the stereotype of the traditional male gender role.

I guess the question for me is, is it needed or useful any more? Sure, giving boys are harder life can make some grow into strong, resilient men. But it can make some crack, make them violent towards the world, make them depressed and suicidal, or crazy. They become the men that everyone needs to be protected from.

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