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(Video) Be Mindful That Men Can Be Survivors of Rape and Sexual Assault

cazort2

June 1, 2017

4 upvotes

/r/MensRights

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXYbs7vx8Dw

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Post Information

Title	(Video) Be Mindful That Men Can Be Survivors of Rape and Sexual Assault
Author	cazort2
Upvotes	4
Comments	5
Date	June 1, 2017 9:01 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/6eps46/video_be_mindful_that_men_can_be_survivors_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/video-be-mindful-that-men-can-be-survivors-of-rape.921407 https://theredarchive.com/post/921407

Comments

[–]cazort2[S] 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

This video is more oriented towards feminists, but I thought that this community would be interested in it and might appreciate it.

I suspect that most of us have heard some of the rhetoric I describe in this...sweeping blanket statements made by people who identify as feminist, talking about how men "have the privilege of not having to deal with rape and sexual assault" or characterizing men as "potential rapists".

I talk about how this is extremely insensitive to male survivors of rape and sexual assault. I talk both about my own experience, and share some stories involving others.

I'm hoping this video can encourage people to be mindful of the fact that men may be survivors, when talking about issues of sexual violence committed by men against women, especially in public settings or settings where there are men present that the person speaking doesn't know well.

[–]HeForeverBleeds 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

When I was in college I heard that kind of rhetoric all the time. Anytime sexual violence in general was discussed, it was with the assumption that the perpetrator would be male and the victim female

I even had someone go off on a rant one time about how men feel entitled to have sex with drunk women and preaching to me about the damage that rape could cause as if feeling like she needed to tell me, as a man, not to rape women. Even though the only experiences with rape I had up till that point was when I was a victim of it by my mother and her friends when I was younger

It's definitely important that people recognize that sexual violence is a human issue. I've heard "men don't have to fear being raped" a lot, and also that rape is an expression of misogyny. That certainly isn't always the case; I'm pretty sure none of the women who raped me did it out of any feelings of animosity towards women

[–]cazort2[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

When I was in college I heard that kind of rhetoric all the time. Anytime sexual violence in general was discussed, it was with the assumption that the perpetrator would be male and the victim female

Yes! OMG. Definitely, I went to a very left-wing college and I felt virtually surrounded by that sort of rhetoric.

That is awful that you also had to go through being subjected to that after the experiences you describe. That sounds very hard.

I don't talk about this at all in the video, but I actually think that being exposed to, or rather, inundated with that rhetoric, actually made me more vulnerable to sexual assault...not recognizing it when it was happening to me, not having the tools to deal with it. In my case, it happened as an adult, I was in my early 20's, and I think a lot of that "feminist" rhetoric in college contributed to me not having a very empowering response in the moment when things were happening, and also not processing it in a really good way. I would like to talk more about this in a future video though, I try to keep them 5-10 minutes or so so it limits what I can put in them.

It's definitely important that people recognize that sexual violence is a human issue. I've heard "men don't have to fear being raped" a lot, and also that rape is an expression of misogyny. That certainly isn't always the case; I'm pretty sure none of the women who raped me did it out of any feelings of animosity towards women

Yeah, that makes sense. I mean it's absurd when you think about it.

Like, of course there are some instances where people hold misogynistic beliefs, and these are a factor in them raping someone. But like...it doesn't explain all instances of rape, and I think when people really drive in that rhetoric it erases the experiences of people like you and me.

I definitely have found a lot of healing in the general humanistic view of stuff like this...like when I hear about people talk about this in gender-free ways, it's really validating. Like, giving even brief or passing mention of the possibility of women being in the role of perpetrator, goes a long way, at least for me...probably because 95% of the time I don't even hear a mention of that.

[–]HeForeverBleeds 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]cazort2[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link