I shall be honest and preface this by saying that the reason i made this reddit account and post is rather selfish.My goals really are just to feel like i am not alone.

To start of i shall give some back story before i get to the point.I am a 15 yr old male and I grew up in very dysfunctional family,My Biological mother has BPD(presumably did since the beginning)and she was very negligent,they got a care taker for my elder brother and me,apparently (as my brother has told me) she never really did a single thing,she was so negligent i thought my caretaker was my mother till i was eight.My caretaker lived in the house since before my birth

My caretaker was from a small quiet semi-rural town and was not a used the metropolis of Chennai(India).To this day i hold respect for her but since i was around 8-9 my "love" for her started fading(now that i think about it,it makes no sense why it did but human brain is weird)

This made me "red pilled" even when i didn't know this community exsisted.(Side note: Thanks to the anti fem and the old atheist community for makinf logical and skeptical)I also want to say thank you to all of you for the massive eye opening in the past six months,Especially to Karen Straughn and Paul Elam's 'An Ear for men youtube channel'.

I moved with my father to Singapore around 2-3 years back,(My Bro moved a year after due to school)my father is a good person but for most of my life he worked 12 hrs and i rarely go to see him.Recently (2 months by back) i found out he was cheating and Tbh i dont blame him but,i lost a little respect due how he dealt with the situation.

This combined with the fact that I am bisexual in Singapore's cobservative society(also doesnt help that some hold prejudice towards Indians) I feel extremely "out of the loop".

I have always maintained a rather optimistic Faćade of a personality and open up to very few people but except for one or two people,the reactions i get to this story is always shaming.(Or maybe i am just seeing it that way)

Now that i have rambled on(maybe too much idk).I ask your community a simple,maybe diffucult question?

What should I do?

Thanks for taking time to read this despite the length and for any replies/comments(idk what you call it) i might get,despite what it is.

PS EDIT: I know paul elam is a kinda controversial but he did atleast get my attention and get me in.Also the reason why i mentioned the youtube channel in specific