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A Mother's Story: My Son Cried, "I Want My Foreskin Back!"

MenDeserveRights

March 14, 2017
31 upvotes
/r/MensRights
http://www.circumcision.org/grieving.htm
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Post Information
Title A Mother's Story: My Son Cried, "I Want My Foreskin Back!"
Author

MenDeserveRights

Upvotes 31
Comments 26
Date March 14, 2017 11:43 PM UTC
(9 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/5zfv86/a_mothers_story_my_son_cried_i_want_my_foreskin/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/a-mothers-story-my-son-cried-i-want-my-foreskin.929085
https://theredarchive.com/post/929085
Top posts by MenDeserveRights

4 or 5 years ago, R&B singer Omarion got circumcised for his girlfriend. 2 years ago, they broke up. Relationships are temporary but genital mutilation lasts forever.

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Woman writes paper arguing the circumcision is genital mutilation, yet does it to her son anyway. Wow.

109 upvotes
April 13, 2018
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Comments

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points21 points 9 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

Richard, my 17-year-old, went through a long period of grieving the loss of his foreskin when he was around 5 years old. He saw other boys with theirs, he asked questions, which I answered honestly, and explained I was sorry and I would do it differently if I could (which I did with my second son, who wasn’t born or conceived when Richard went through his grieving process.)

so bittersweet to be that first son... I would know.... My sister wasn't cut which is almost the same thing.

THIS is why it shouldn't be the parent's choice.

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points24 points 9 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

This is also why, when arguing with feminists at my college (and also when I was still in high school), their claims that I was more privileged than them rang hollow.

The most sensitive part of my genitalia was brutally amputated without anesthetic, and yet they think that I'm somehow privileged?

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

The most sensitive part of my genitalia was brutally amputated without anesthetic, and yet they think that I'm somehow privileged?

When feminists tell me that women are oppressed in America in 2017, I just reply with "I had a part of my genitals hacked off without my consent. How are you oppressed again?"

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I wish I was brave enough to say that.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points19 points 9 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

and this is why the banning of circumcision is the single most important issue that is in the MRA.

How can you talk about money when forced amputation is legal for one gender.

[–]BeowulfTheBrave 13 points14 points15 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree it should be THE flagship issue in American men's rights movement. However, when I discuss the MRA movement with people unfamiliar with it or who I know are pro-circ, I usually lead with other arguments that will be more effective with those individuals.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

And yet it's the one that I don't feel comfortable talking about IRL or on social media that is linked to my real name. There's too great a risk that my parents, who are responsible for getting my genitals mutilated will hear about it. I don't want the confrontation, and I'm also still financially dependent on them.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I told my parents at 16. Its best to tell them. And look into foreskin restoration. it helps

Tell, don't accuse. Most parents legitimately do not know the effects of MGM

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I've had two short conversations with my parents in the span of four years about circumcision. In both the conversations I kept the language neutral and just explained why I thought circumcision is wrong and I called it genital mutilation.

In the last one (happened last month) my mother just laughed at me and said "I know circumcision is probably hard on the baby's body, but birth is also hard on the mother's body too".

I really want to ask them why they had it done and when, but sex and genitals were a very taboo subject in my house growing up (super religious family), me and my sister never even got the "birds and the bees" talk. I'm afraid if I ever did have this conversation with them, it would just end with me getting irate and screaming at them.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I think the best response to your mother's comment would be:

"You chose to give birth, but I didn't chose to get circumcised."

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I was going to tell her that but before I could, my father interrupted and went on a long screed about something unrelated.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

That's part of the reason that I don't want to bring it up with my parents. They probably will either get mad at me or just blow me off, and I don't want to cause unnecessary conflict.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points 9 years ago* (13 children) | Copy Link

I may make a thread on this, but I prefer to keep a low profile online. I tutor for human rights at university, and the classes are workshops where the students have to present a human rights violation. One of my groups - mainly girls - have decided to do one on male genital mutilation. I must have been beaming with pride, as they suddenly became really encouraged by my response.

Can tell you now, they're getting the fucking highest mark.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points 9 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

I often find that women and mothers are the biggest critics of circumcision. Circumcised men often defend it with their dying breath because they obviously have a vested interest in not admitting that something is wrong with their penises.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points15 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

This is exactly the same pattern as with FGM, it's mostly women who support FGM in the countries where it's done, it's women who do the procedure, and it's women who riot in the streets when people try to ban it.

And here in the West it's mostly men who defend circumcision...

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

People don't like feeling like something is wrong with them or that they are mutilated (especially when it comes to genitals), and people don't want to look at their parents as "mutilators".

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Stockholm Syndrome

[–]Vzzbxx 6 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Circumcised men often defend it with their dying breath because they obviously have a vested interest in not admitting that something is wrong with their penises.

That is because they have the same experience as the child in that story. They have extreme feelings of loss, betrayal, shame when they discover what was done to them by their own parents. They basically go through what someone who has been brutally raped and scarred for life is going through and most of them receive no support and are instead shamed and ridiculed by those around them. They have to process it alone, spending nights crying themselves to sleep, screaming into their pillow, dreaming of faceless people restraining them and constantly being reminded of it as their exposed sensitive glands rub against their underwear. The eventually suppress it and hide it under the surface and eventually proclaim how, in fact, that its a good thing, a positive thing because they are so tired of feeling like a victim. They might even walk up to their parents saying how "Happy" they are to be mutilated. And then daddy and mommy look at each other, smiling, "See honey! It was just a phase.".

No wonder they've documented so many psychological issues in children who've gone through this.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

They have to process it alone, spending nights crying themselves to sleep, screaming into their pillow

Can confirm, but hey not all of us then go to the denial part, some decide to go against MGM after that.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

I never cried myself to sleep but it was (and still is) hard coming to terms with what was done to me.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, different people deal with it differently, doesn't mean there was less pain.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

or restore. Being angry or in denial doesn't help anyone.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Don't give them the highest mark because they're doing something you support, give them the highest mark should they deserve it.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

True. Sorry was just figure of speech.

[–]Draggonzz 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You should make that thread.

[–]Draggonzz 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't we all.

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