TL; DR: I found my game, or at least a start to it on Friday night... Browsed /r/TheRedPill while applying what I learned to an attractive bartender in real time. This gets very long, so if you're bored after a few paragraphs, walk away.

This is not a field report from an experienced player picking up girls, or even from someone new to the concept having an awesome night at it. I love those stories, and they inspired me to share this... but this is the story of me picking up the red pill, rolling it around in my hand trying to figure out what it is, and eventually swalling it. It's more about my thought process than anything else.

Background: I'm 38, financially solid, very little dating experience. I lost 95 lbs this year so I'm really just coming to really own who I am.

Friday afternoon I was researching dating advice, because I really really suck with women, but I'm at least smart enough to have a decent idea where my problem is, just not how to fix it. This leads me to /r/TheRedPill and all the resources linked from this sub-reddit. I immediately started finding this more intriguing than /r/datingadvice and the like. The bottom line was that I didn't know my own value... I am (was maybe?) such a pussy little beta...

I was really reflecting, reading all this stuff, taking it in, I decide to go to my favorite cocktail bar to drink and continue reading. That sounds lame, but its better than sitting at home anyway. Plus I wanted to try a couple things on this cute young bartender that had me wrapped around her finger. Lets call her Candy. I haven't known her very long, but we've had some drinks (after her shift) and went to dinner a week ago. When I took her to dinner that first time I felt pretty awesome for having the balls to ask out this young woman who was out of my league. That said, she was playing me, I knew it even as it was happening, but didn't understand what to do about it.

Friday night I did not go to this bar to get laid (or what-ever it was I was even trying to accomplish with my beta shit.) I was going for science. I needed to see if this red pill stuff was bullshit, or if it could help me take back the power in my dynamic with Candy. (note, a couple of these things happened Saturday night, but I'm condensing some of my lessons down) I also realize that the dynamic here is different as she's a bartender actively working. It makes her a bit of a captive audiance which actually works in my favor here, but the fact that she's getting paid and wants to keep me a regular customer isn't at all lost on me.

  • Lesson learned number 1) Know my value vs her value. She's 26, single, no kids. Say about a 7.5 looks wise but a fun personality. A sassy-ness that I like, smart. All that is good, but she bartends, as she's trying to friend-zone me she talked about cheating on her last boyfriend... plus she's the kind of girl who'll play a guy for a free drink. Me? I'm a little beta bitch, and a bit overweight still, but I realize those are two things that are going to improve while her shit is all downhill from here. Truth is, doing the math, I'm too good for her by a ways. This is an epiphany of epic proportions and drastically changes the game. This I had figured out before I went to the bar.

  • Lesson learned number 2) Be a little aloof. I did not walk in the bar and go straight to her, I went and sat at the end of the bar while reading my phone, barely glancing up to get the lay of the land. A different bartender comes up to me take my order, she's actually a tad hotter than Candy but usually bitchy. I chat her up real friendly and get comfortable as I settle in to drink my drink and read my phone. I also focus on maintaining an "I'm pretty cool" smile and as alpha of a pose as one can do while sitting there reading your phone in a bar. After about 10 minutes of me not acknowledging Candy's presence, she came around the bar to sit next to me and I realized pull my attention to her. This first time I wasn't sure if it was a fluke, but this happened more and more as the night went on, the more I paid attention to my phone, the more she tried to get my attention back on her. I usually rewarded her with some positive attention, but didn't hesitate to go back to my phone when it got boring.

Don't get me wrong as you read all this, I'm a friendly and nice guy... When we talked I was absolutely myself, I was not being an asshole to her. She was just not the center of my world. I didn't sit there drinking my drink hoping she'd come chat with me. I sat there like I did not give a fuck either way.

  • Lesson learned number 3) Have a great time, and she'll want to be a part of it. I bought "the game" on kindle and was reading the paragraph on how you need to adopt an "I'm the life of the party" kind of smile when you enter the room. I changed my smile, really laid out a genuine I'm having an awesome time smile as I read, still just staring at my phone, and I shit you not she was over trying to get my attention within 20 seconds. I mean lean heavy over the bar and be flirty with me. She wanted a part of what-ever was going on with me. It was hilarious.

  • Lesson learned number 4) Give her a hard time, working for it makes her try harder. I had a couple opportunities to do this and it seemed effective. She asked what I was reading and I told her it was a secret. She asks about the drink she just made for me, I'd give an iffy "it's so so" answer and order something different, easier to make. She tells me twice that she's nervous about mixing my Old Fashions... I made her insecure and eager to please me. Very interesting.

  • Lesson learned number 5) Spending on her lowers my value, make her spend on me. This is hard for me. I'm a generous guy, great tipper (which is probably why they love me at this bar) and I like buying rounds of drinks for my friends. On this night she twice bought me shots so I would do a shot with her. In the grand scheme of things between us this was barely anything, but I felt like it nudged the meter back in my favor just a hair. I'm not her sugar daddy.

  • Lesson learned number 6) who is touching who? On previous occasions, even with so little game I knew enough to break through the kino barrier. I'm comfortable enough taking an arm, placing my hand on a back to guide through a door, that kind of thing. I had already done this with her, but tonight was about science... there were several instances where I picked up on her asking for kino. The first was a "look I got my nails done." I realized that no sane woman can really expect a man to care about her nails, so I took her hand and pulled it close, moved it around a bit to try to get it in the light, first I said something negative, then ended on a positive. This was 30 seconds of hand holding that I judged she initiated and wanted, not me. This was fascinating and later validated when she cut her finger (barely), and twice brought it to me to look at, forcing me to hold her hand in a similar way. I swear I think she wanted me to kiss it for her.

  • Lesson learned number 7) the 2/3rds rule... While my initial game focused on being aloof, I also found this rule. (Pay her 2/3rds of the attention she gives you) So while I rarely looked towards her to initiate contact, when she came looking for attention I gave her positive reinforcement. This was ridiculously effective. When things slow down a lot she checks her phone often... On past nights I'd occasionally text her something funny or flirty. On this night, she was the instigator. The first text was "boo!" the second, sent probably 5-10 minutes later was "never-mind." She was upset that I didn't give her enough attention and was trying harder for it. Fascinating.

  • Lesson learned number 8) this shit works. By about 1am I realized that I had fairly effectively shifted the power dynamic between us with very little effort. She wanted my attention, she was buying me drinks, getting me to take her hand, dancing behind the bar to get me to look at her, giving me smiles. I changed my background on my phone to the "science bitches" wallpaper someone posted here in another thread. I think my life just changed.

  • Lesson learned number 9) Learn to close. This is where the story has a half-assed ending for the night. At about 1am she texts me "I'm hungry" (remember we are literally 6 feet apart) I respond "I'll let you buy me pizza after work." I thought this was clever of me, but I saw after-wards it was pretty flawed. It kept me waiting around for her and gave her too much of the power of what happens next. When she got the text she laughed playfully and said something I couldn't hear. An hour later when we walked towards our cars, parked right next to each-other, she said something that was clearly the start of a goodbye... If I had proper game this would have been the moment I would have closed... still not quite sure how, but I'll work on that. At least I did the next best thing...

  • Lesson learned number 10) Walk away. I replied "You mean I'm not getting any pizza, what the hell did I wait around for?" (hint of anger, but not too angry) She said something about at least I get a hug and reached in to hug me, just as I'm turning away to my car. Now, this woman is trying hard to friend zone me, I see that. I know I don't have the game to get her in the sack this night, so I tell her "I wasn't looking for a hug, I was looking for some damn pizza." She was all in on the hug, but it was about a 1/4th hug back as I continued to turn and walk to my car and drive away.

This is getting very long, but I have more lessons from Saturday night that I'll add as a comment.

edit1: Improved TL; DR at the top.